Anything but Perfect
by suffocatingonsadness
Summary: Clary Morgenstern is the daughter of two very important people, but her life has been anything but perfect. Constantly being haunted by the nightmares of her past Clary must figure out how to cope with her darkest secrets all while trying to keep up with the perfect facade that her parents force her to have. When she finally has a real friend will she be able to let her walls down?
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is my newest story, but I want to warn everyone that it has some heavy and dark topics. Suicide, self harm, eating disorders, sexual assault, and molestation. If any of those subjects are to hard to handle, I advise you not to read this story. I'm going to try and keep it more along the lines of a story that shows the triumph of someone who is just trying to move on from those situations, but there will be flashbacks, and chapters where all these topics will be talked about in depth. So, if you're willing to take this journey with me, please keep reading, and if you have an suggestions please feel free to let me know! So, please enjoy "Anything but Perfect"**

 **All the characters belong to Cassandra Clare, I just own the plot, and depending on how the story goes, maybe a few minor characters along the way! I hope you enjoy!**

 **Chapter One**

 **Clary POV:**

I wake up panting and my bed is wet with sweat. I'm used to the nightmares but that doesn't mean that they are easy to deal with. No matter what happens, I can't seem to escape the horrors of my past. You see growing up in the family that I have doesn't give me much leeway. I constantly have to be perfect, and if I'm not well, lets just say my parents aren't too happy with me. You see my parents are pretty famous and so is my brother. My father is the governor of New York, my mother is a world-renowned painter and my brother, well he's a defensive end for the Dallas Cowboys. Being something in this family is everything, but then there is me. I'm not very athletic, and I'm not very talented in music or art. Sometimes I wonder if I was born in to the wrong family.

My life hasn't always been perfect; I've had a lot of shit happen to me. If you look at me from the outside you would think that I had the most amazing life, and that I was the happiest person you could ever see.

My name is Clarissa Morgenstern, and I'm 17 years old and I'll be a senior at Idris Area High School, and if you ask anyone there, I'm the most popular person you'll ever met. It's almost September and I am getting ready for my annual end of the summer party. It was probably going to be the biggest party of the year. I was inviting my whole senior class, but I knew a few kids from outside of my town would show up. It wasn't that I minded that random kids from other towns showed up, I actually kind of liked it, knowing that they knew about my parties was a little bit of a confidence booster. Take the Lightwoods for example, they are from the next town over, they have come to a few of my parties. I never figured out how they knew about them, but they never caused any problems so I never really cared that they showed up. The rules of my party were simple, if you wanted to hook up, you'd do it in the pool house, the upstairs was absolutely off limits. The party was over at 2 am, and if you couldn't handle your alcohol you'd never be invited back. Every knew that and I have only had to kick a couple people out for disobeying the rules.

It was about an hour or two into the party and I was well on my way to drunk. I was dancing to the music and my boyfriend came up behind me and started dancing with me. I decided to play along with him. Soon he was kissing me and feeling me up and I let him until he started to lead me to the pool house. When walking through my house we passed the Lightwoods, I looked at them and winked before making my way behind Sebastian, everyone made a pathway for us, and when we got outside I took my place on his right side and when the time was right I pushed Sebastian and he landed in the pool. A huge splash got the attention of the whole party.

"That's for cheating on me asshole!" I yelled at him as he emerged from the pool.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I saw you last week sucking face with Morgan, or Megan, or Macy, whatever her name is, I saw you."

"Oh come on, it's not like you haven't been hooking up with random guys behind my back. "

"You know, I may be a lot of things Sebastian but a cheater isn't one of them." By this time the whole party was outside and the music had stopped. "Get out, the parties over for you."

"Whatever. You were shit in bed anyway." There was a low 'damn' that all the people around us said.

"How would you know? Every time we were about to have sex, you couldn't get it up." He huffed in frustration got out of the pool and stormed out of the house. I looked around and there was silence. "Let's fucking party people." I yelled and everyone cheered and went back to what they were doing.

If I could so anything right, it was hold my alcohol. It was about 1:45 am and I was making my way over to the pool house to see if anyone was there and to let them know the party was over in 15 minutes. When I opened the door Aline and Helen were in the middle of an intense make out session. They both jumped apart when they heard me gasp.

"Please don't tell anyone." Aline begged and I didn't know what to do.

"No problem. I just came here to tell you the party ends in 15 minutes." With that I closed the door and made my way back into the house. I was walking and drinking when I ran into a wall, but when I looked up a pair of golden eyes were looking back at me.

"Hey Red." He said and I couldn't help but laugh at his nickname for me.

"Ah, if it isn't Jace Lightwood, what brings you here?" HE smirks at me and I can't help but admire how sexy he looks right now.

"You throw some awesome parties, how could I possibly stay away?"

"How does someone from your town hear about my parties?"

"My sisters boyfriend goes to your school, she kind of forces him to come, he isn't much of a party goer."

"Well any friend of a fellow Shadowhunter is a friend of mine." He laughs and it's probably one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard.

"What even is a Shadowhunter?"

"The hell if I know, I've been asking around for years, but nobody seems to know." We both laugh and continue to talk until I notice people starting to leave. I was about to say something when I notice three people walk up to us, I assume they are his siblings, but I never imagined Simon Lewis being his sisters boyfriend.

"Jace, come on it's time to leave, I hear Clary gets pissed if everyone isn't gone by 2." She says and than she notices that Jace is in fact talking to me and she looks mortified. I look at them and than turn my attention back to Jace.

"Well, it was wonderful to talk to you, but your sister is right. I turn into a raging bitch if everyone isn't out by 2. But I'll make an exception for you four to show you what I mean." I look at them and than motion for them to follow me. When we get to the door to my laundry room I can hear moaning. I kick to door in, and there are Maia and Jordan half naked making out in there. "You two know the fucking rules, pool house is for hooking up!" They look absolutely terrified. "Get the hell out of my house!" I yell and they grab their clothes and run out of the house practically naked. I turn around to look at the Lightwoods and they look scared shitless. "If I don't act like a raging bitch, nobody would follow the rules, and I really don't want to catch people having sex in my bed." The laugh and I lead them to the front door. "Well maybe I'll see you guys around sometime, or maybe I'll have to wait until my next party, since you obviously like to make an appearance." They all laugh and I tell them goodbye and I make my way up to my room. I lay on my bed and stare at my ceiling. Before I know it the darkness devours me and the nightmares of him come back in full force.

 **Time Jump-Mid October**

After school started it was back to pretending to be something I'm not. I had to wear blouses, and skirts, and dresses and heels. It was worse than actual school. I'd walk to halls with my so called 'friends' and just wait for the day to be over so I could change into my favorite outfit and go to my favorite place.

When I was fourteen and having a really hard time I asked my parents to build me a skate park, it was something that was able to calm me down, and since my parents couldn't get any information out of me, they agreed to do it. It was a 15 minute walk from my house, but it was back in the forest, so that nobody could find it. It didn't help the 'perfect' image that my parents were going for, so it had to be kept a secret. I didn't mind it though, it was the perfect place to think, and release some stress. I was in my favorite pair of skinny jeans, a long sleeve tee, my favorite pair of vans, and my dark grey beanie. Now, if I could dress this way everyday, I would be one happy camper, but it goes against everything my parents believe in.

I was listening to my music as I was sitting on my skateboard looking out into the forest. This was the only place that I truly got to be myself. I can't hear anything around me until there was a body next to me, and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"What the hell are you doing here Jace?" I nearly yell as I yank my headphones out of my ear.

"I was taking a walk and I kinda got lost. This place is cool, I didn't know you could skate." I laugh and I turn my music off and fix my beanie.

"Nobody does." I get up and kick my skateboard up and catch it.

"You look different." He says and I look down at my outfit.

"Yea, this is who I get to be when my parents aren't around."

"High expectations?"

"More like impossible." I let out a dry laugh and I look at him.

"How come?" He asks and I grab my skateboard and make my way back over to him.

"When you're the daughter of the governor, a world renowned famous painter, and the sister of an NFL star expectations are elevated to the max. My parents want to be perfect, therefore I have to be perfect."

"That must really suck."

"Totally. If my parents saw me like this, I'd be sent to my room for dressing like a peasant." He laughs a little and I look back out to the forest.

"You know, I know we hardly know each other, but if you ever need an escape, or a friend, I've got you." I look at him with a confused expression.

"Why would you do that?"

"Cause you seem cool Red, and believe it or not you're one of the few people that can hold a conversation with me without trying to get in my pants." I can't help but laugh and look back at him.

"I pride myself in resisting the urge to jump your bones in the middle of the forest." I say with my voice dripping with sarcasm. Although the urge is actually there, no way in hell was that every going to be a possibility. After a few more minutes of was falls to be comfortable silence he starts to get up.

"I should probably get back, my parents are probably wondering where I went." I follow his lead and get up. "Maybe I'll see you around."

"Well, you know where to find me." I play with my skateboard under my foot. He nods and starts to walk away before he turns around.

"Oh and Red," he says and I turn around, "I like this look on you way more." He smirks and I can't help but blush. I nod and he turns and makes his way back into the woods. I start my walk home, when I get there I sneak in the back door and make my way upstairs. I lay on my bed until the overwhelming thoughts are too much for me to handle. I make my way into my bathroom and grab and unused razor. I slowly break it apart until it's just the blade. I sit on my end of my tub as I press it in to my upper thigh. I watch as the skin breaks and blood flows down my leg. After about 5 cuts I throw the razor blade away and I clean up the mess. I go back to my bed when I can't help but think that this is the way my life will always be. Constantly fighting off the nightmares, and never feeling like I'll ever be good enough for anyone. I fall asleep to the whispers that he once told me every night before he would violate me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

 **Clary POV:**

After that day Jace met me in the woods I haven't seen him around. But I can't blame him, I'm not all that fun to be around. It doesn't help that we go to different schools, but I guess that's just how my life goes. And if my life couldn't be any worse, my parents are constantly trying to set me up with their friends kids. I can't even begin to tell you how many first dates I've been on. In fact, I had another one tonight and I was dreading it more than anything.

I was staring in the mirror as I looked at what I was wearing. I had on a maroon skater skirt, which my mom actually approved of saying she thought 'it was super cute and made me look like I was up on the latest fashion', I had on a fitted white top, and had some tights on, with white heels, and a black leather jacket, my hair was curled and my make up with light. I made my way downstairs and met my parents in the living room.

"Ah Clarissa dear, these are our old friends Tessa and James Carstairs, and this is their son, William." The boy looked like he was maybe a year or two older than me and he had a smug look on his face. Just looking at him he gave me the creeps.

"Hello, nice to meet you all." I said with my sweetest voice and I could see my mothers eyes glisten with pride, I knew exactly how she wanted me to act, and I knew that I had to listen. We talked for a couple more minutes until William and I left for the restaurant.

The date was absolutely awful; he didn't know how to talk about anything but himself. I found out he was going to Columbia, and studying to become a lawyer, he had three dogs, and the newest model BMW that his parents bought him for his birthday. All in all I would never be going out with him ever again. When the date was finally over we were walking around town when I saw the Lightwoods and Simon outside a movie theater. I quickly thought about how this was my way out. We kept walking and when we finally got close enough I decided to do it.

"Jace, it's so good to see you." I said as I pulled him into a hug, I knew he was probably really confused so I whispered in his ear, "this is the worst date of my life, please save me." He chuckled and let go of me; I looked behind him and saw the confusion on his siblings faces.

"It's good to see you too, it's been awhile. How are you?"

"I'm great." I said but I was hoping that he could read between the lines.

"Who are these people babe?" I heard from behind me and I rolled my eyes and turned around and put on my best fake smile.

"Some friends of mine, this is Jace, Alec and Isabelle, and that's Isabelle's boyfriend Simon. Simon and I go to the same school." I say in my fake happy voice.

"We were just about to go get some ice cream if you want to join us." Jace said and I couldn't help but smile, he was playing along and it brought a level of comfort to me.

"Actually, we have to go." Will grabbed my arm and I was shocked by the firmness in his grasp.

"Why? We weren't doing anything." I say and I can see the anger filling up in his eyes.

"But I have a surprise for you that doesn't include other people." He tried to sound seductive but I couldn't help but be grossed out.

"Are you kidding me?" I said and he looked taken aback. "You really think I'm going to sleep with you on the first date?"

"Yes." His cocky tone really caught me off guard. I was shocked that he really thought I'd just willingly have sex with him on a first date.

"Wow. Did you think about the possibility of, I don't know, me saying no? Or were you just going to take me without my consent?"

"You would have said yes." He said and I looked back at the Lightwoods who looked just as grossed out as I felt.

"You sure about that?" I cross my arms over my chest.

"I'm sure. Who could resist me? I'm handsome, rich, and I'm going to have an amazing career, you'd be crazy not to want this."

"Well, call me crazy, because I certainly do not want you. And unless you want rape attached to your name, I'm pretty sure sex was never on the table." He looked appalled, almost like this was the first time he's ever been rejected.

"You know, my friends told me you were a prude, but I didn't think they were serious." I looked at him, and it took everything in me not to punch him in the face. "You may be hot as hell babe, but you sure are not easy to get along with." He looked back at the Lightwoods. "You think this lot will get you anywhere in life, please you'd be lucky to have someone like me. No one in their right mind would put up with the amount of baggage you come with." He looked back towards me. "And there would ne no proof that it was rape, it would be he said she said and when it comes to two 'consenting adults' the charges would go no where." That was it, that's what sent me over the edge.

"You certainly have a way with words Will. How would you know anything about me? You spent the entire dinner talking about yourself." I took a step towards him. "I couldn't care less about you going to Columbia, or that you want to be a lawyer or that you have three dogs all named after yourself." I could hear laughter coming from behind me. "I feel bad for the poor woman who gets stuck with you, but from what I can deduct, she'll just be a trophy wife while she gets it on the side because as much cockiness as you blatantly shove down peoples throats, you're probably shit in bed. And I'm a minor you jackass." I could see his face slightly pale.

"You'll regret this Carly." He said and I just let out a laugh.

"My name is Clary you fucking prick." With that he stormed away and I couldn't believe someone like him even exists. I turn back towards the Lightwoods and they all look shocked. "Might have to be the worst first date of my life."

"Why would you go out with that guy?" Isabelle asks.

"My parents have been setting me up with all their friends kids. That was my 5th date with one of them, and definitely the worst." I laughed a little and looked at Jace. "Thank you for playing along. I thought that date was never going to end."

"Of course. I told you a couple months ago, I got you." I smiled and let out a breath.

"Well, I'm going to head home. Thank you again." I turn around and realize that Will brought me here. "Shit."

"Need a ride?" I heard Jace say from behind me.

"It's okay, I'll just call my maid, I don't really want to deal with my parents considering Will probably went back to my house and bitched me out. And I've already ruined your night."

"Don't worry about it. I can take you home and meet them back here after. Please, no need to worry anyone at home." I looked at him and finally realized it was probably for the best.

"Okay. Thank you."

"I'll meet up with you guys later." They nodded and Jace led me to his car. It took us about 10 minutes to get back to my house. He parked the car and I noticed that Will's car was nowhere in sight and I let out a relieved breath. I sat there for a minute trying to get ready for what I knew was going to be a fight.

"Thank you, for doing this for me tonight. I really appreciate it."

"Of course. I'm sorry your night was so horrible."

"Yea, but it didn't end so badly." I smiled at him and he smiled back. "I guess I'll see you around sometime." We said our goodbyes and I went inside. When I opened the door I saw my parents sitting in the living room looking pissed.

"Clarissa, what the hell happened tonight?"

"He was a douche dad. The date was horrible."

"That doesn't give you the right to speak to him the way you did."

"Are you kidding me? He was planning on taking me back to his house and having sex with me, and I told him that it wouldn't happen and you know what he said?" I looked at my parents and they shook their head. "He told me that it would happen no matter what. So I'm sorry that I really didn't feel like being raped tonight."

"Clarissa." My mother said in a harsh tone.

"I really don't want to talk about it. I had a horrible night and I just want to get out of this outfit and lay in my bed." I walked away before they could say anything else. I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn't help but think that maybe somehow this was my entire fault. People just thought they could take advantage of me; did I give off that vibe? Do I need to try and look different? Why the hell do these things happen to me? I took another blade out and made a couple more cuts. The release felt like I was on cloud 9. I watched as the blood made it's way down my leg, but I stopped it before it hit the floor. I cleaned everything up and went to bed, where the nightmares of my past and what could have happened tonight flood my mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

 **Time Jump-Winter Break**

 **Clary POV:**

Today was my last day of school before break started and I couldn't wait to leave. My parents had gone to visit my brother a couple days ago, and told me they'd be gone until the new year. They said they wanted to take me but they didn't want me to miss any school, but I knew they just wanted to spend time with my brother. At least with him they could be the perfect family.

I was in the woods at my skate park when I heard leaves crunching behind me, when I turned around and saw Jace walking towards me.

"Thought I'd find you here." He made his way over to me and took a seat.

"And you found me. What's up?"

"I was just clearing my head. I haven't seen you in awhile. How's it going?"

"Oh you know, fancy parties, outlandish random vacations, being left home alone for Christmas. The usual."

"Where did your parents go?"

"They went to visit my brother in Texas. They have never been a fan of the cold, so any excuse to leave New York in December is good enough for them."

"That must suck."

"Well I get the house to myself, so I don't have to try and please my parents. So its not all bad." He let out a small laugh.

"Good thing you can find the bright side in every situation."

"I'm actually quite the pessimist. Hang around me for awhile, and I'll have you seeing the world in a whole new way."

"Why is that?" I shrug and let out a breath.

"Maybe one day you'll get that story out of me, but today is not that day my friend." He nods and we sit in silence for a while as we watch the snow fall.

"Well, I have to get going. I probably won't see you for a while. I hope you have a good Christmas Red. Don't miss you too much." He smirks at me and I can't help but laugh.

"Are you always this cocky?"

"Confident Red, not cocky. There is a huge difference."

"You have a good Christmas too." I can't help but notice his eyes light up.

"Oh I will. Lying on the beautiful beaches of Mexico with a bunch of hot chicks. Who can complain?" He looks extremely happy but I can't help but feeling a little unhappy with his comment. I quickly push the feeling away.

"Don't let it get to your head. Your ego doesn't need a boost." He laughs and waves goodbye. I stay there for a couple hours until I no longer can feel my fingers. I make it back to my house and I can't help but shake the feeling of never being good enough for anyone. I wasn't good enough for Sebastian, I sure as hell will never be good enough for Jace, and I'm not even good enough for my own parents. I grab my unused razor and take the blade out and I make several more cuts. The pain doesn't even faze me anymore.

Christmas rolls around and I'm feeling more alone than ever. I've been in this house for the past two weeks without any contact from the outside world, and the thoughts are becoming even harder to push away. It's Christmas Eve and I'm getting ready for bed when I run out of toothpaste. I sigh and go to my parent's bathroom to get more. When I open the medicine cabinet and I see a bottle of pills for my fathers heart condition. Before I even know what I'm doing I dump a pile of them in my hand and downed them faster than I can even register what's happening. I start walking back to my room when I start feeling dizzy, and before I know it I'm hitting the floor and everything went black.

 **Time Jump-A Week After Christmas**

 **Jace POV:**

We just got back from Mexico and I was nothing but smiles. So many hot chicks, and I never had to spend a night alone. There was absolutely nothing to complain about, I had an awesome Christmas. I walked into the kitchen for breakfast and I saw Robert reading the paper. I always liked to keep up on current events, and living in New York there was always some interesting story to read up on.

"Anything interesting happened while we were away?" I asked as I grabbed the orange juice.

"The governors daughter attempted suicide." I almost dropped the jug of orange juice; I was completely and utterly shocked.

"When?" I tried to keep my voice as normal as possible but I just couldn't believe Clary would do that.

"Christmas morning. Her parents are keeping the details under wraps. There has been no press release done, and nobody really knows her so there isn't much information on what her mental state was, plus she was home alone. They're lucky they came back. According to a friend of mine they weren't suppose to come home until the New Year, she would have been dead by then."

"That's horrible." Mayrse states. "I wonder why she did it."

"I don't know, but her life can't be that hard. I mean, have you seen their house? It's huge." I can't listen to anymore, I feel like I'm about to be sick. I excuse myself and make my way back up to my room. I couldn't believe what happened.

When school started up again there were rumors flying all around. Some are as far fetched as she was pregnant and was to embarrassed to get an abortion to it not being suicide it was an attempted murder. I knew I couldn't believe anything unless I heard it from Clary herself. Going to different school made it nearly impossible to know the truth, so I had to go to the next best thing: Simon.

We had our annual Lightwood family dinners and Simon was invited. It was my only chance at getting any information out of him and not knowing what happened to Clary was driving me insane. Dinner seemed to take forever, and all I could focus on was getting Simon alone and getting information. After another 45 minutes dinner was finally over and I was so relieved. Everyone was getting up and clearing the table and to took Simon by the elbow and dragged him upstairs.

"What the hell Jace?" Simon whisper yelled and I let him go.

"I need to talk to you."

"About?"

"Clary."

"Why do you want to know about Clary?"

"Because I have no way of getting close to her to find out what the hell happened over Christmas."

"Why do you care?"

"She's my friend."

"Since when?"

"Since her party at the beginning of senior year. We just seem to understand each other, but I have no way of reaching her. Do you happen to know anything about it?"

"She only came to school for one day after break was over. I haven't seen her since, but in one of our classes a teacher asked and her only explanation was that she took to many sleeping pills and didn't realize. She told her that she never even thought about suicide, that her life was too amazing to ever leave it. Everyone seemed to believe her."

"But not you."

"There was something in her voice, like she was not only trying to convince the teachers and the students, but also herself. I know I don't know her well enough, but it just sounded off. But she stopped coming to school. I haven't seen her in a couple weeks."

"Thanks Simon." He nodded and went to join the others downstairs. I went to my room not really wanting to be around the others. If I knew anything about Clary is was that she didn't feel that way about her life at all. If anything she kind of disliked her lifestyle. I figured tomorrow I would take a walk and stop by the skate park hoping that she would be there. By the time I looked over at my clock it was already past midnight. I got ready for bed but couldn't seem to turn my brain off from thinking about Clary.

By the time I woke up I don't even remember falling asleep. I look out my window and it's lightly snowing. I look at my clock and it's almost 10. I get up and get dressed, and I make my way around town for my walk. By the time I make it to the skate park I'm fairly cold but I needed to at least talk to Clary. I make my way over to the skate park I see I small figure sitting on the edge of the bowl. I make my way over to her and take a seat next to her. She doesn't even look up at me.

"Long time no see." I say trying to decrease the tension in the air.

"Cut the bullshit Jace. I know why you're here." She says and she sounds so cold and distant. I realized that the only way I was going to get anything out of her was by being straight forward.

"Why did you do it?"

"Cause who wants to live in a world where I can't even wear what I want to? Who wants to live in a world where I can't eat the food I want? Who wants to live in a world where I don't even have friends who care enough about me? Although I wouldn't want to any of those kids to be my friend. Every single one of them wants something from me. None of them actually like me."

"I doubt that's true."

"Really? Cause Sebastian wanted to date me because I'm so amazing and fun to be around. Cause Aline wants to have sleepovers and go to the mall because she loves my company. Cause Maia, or Jordan, or Mark, or Emma, or Julian or anyone else in that god forsaken place wants to be my friend because they actually like me. Or because they want to keep me company when I'm so incredibly lonely that the only thing I can think about doing is killing myself."

"You always have me."

"Yea, except for when I don't. Jace we've hung out a handful of times, and we go months without seeing each other or talking. That's not a friendship, it's an acquaintanceship. Don't dilute yourself into thinking it's more. You don't even know me, and if you did, you wouldn't like me."

"How can you be so sure? You don't open up to me."

"You're practically a stranger Jace. Why would I open up to a stranger?"

"I don't know. Maybe because you need someone."

"I'm fine on my own. Have been my whole life."

"Is that so? Than tell me Clarissa, why did you try to kill yourself?"

"Because cutting isn't enough anymore!" She practically yelled and I was taken aback. "Because when I slice through my skin with a razor blade I feel absolutely nothing but the blood running down my leg. Because every single night I can still feel his hands on me. I can still hear the things he would whisper in my ear. I can still smell his scent on my things. I can't escape him. Even from six feet under he's still haunting me." I have no idea what to do so I just put my arm around her shoulder and pull her close. She leans her head on my chest and cries. After about 15 minutes she finally starts to calm down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tell you my darkest secret."

"When?" Is the only thing I can manage to say.

"When I was six. My parents were out of town and my brother was at a football camp for the week. He volunteered to babysit me. I didn't even know what was going on the first time. I was asleep when he crawled into my bed."

"How long?"

"Until I was 10."

"How did he die?"

"Car accident."

"Who?"

"My uncle." She looked at me and I wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry. Did he ever…" I wanted to finish the question by the words seemed to be caught in my throat.

"Rape me?" I nod. "No. He was waiting until I was older. He didn't want to hurt me. He thought I was too small to be able to handle him. So even if he didn't die I'm afraid I would have never been able to satisfy him. I was about this small when I was 10, give or take an inch or two. But he touched me, and rubbed me, and kissed me. Those nights were the longest."

"Why didn't you tell your parents?"

"He threatened me. Told me if I said anything it would get worse. Or that nobody would believe a six year old kid." She took a deep breath. "He hit me once. I locked my door, hoping that it would stop him, but he found the key. I never did that again." I nod; I had no idea what to say. She leaned her head on my shoulder and we stayed silent for a while. I figured if she had been this open with me, I would give her something in return, to let her know she can trust me.

"My last name isn't Lightwood." Her head instantly left my shoulder and she looked at me.

"What?"

"My last name isn't Lightwood. It's Herondale."

"Why didn't you correct me that night at the party?"

"Everyone just assumes Lightwood is my last name because I will with Izzy and Alec. I was adopted when I was 10."

"What happened to your parents?"

"My mom died giving birth, and my father was murdered."

"That's awful."

"I was the star witness."

"Shit." I let out a small laugh, I enjoyed her responses, it was nice to hear something other than sorry.

"Yea. Robert was my lawyer, and after the trial he decided to take me in."

"That was really kind of him."

"Yea, after about two years they adopted me, and to keep people from asking questions they put Lightwood on all my paper work, but my name is still legally Jonathan Herondale."

"Jonathan?"

"Yea, Jace is just a nickname."

"How do you get Jace from Jonathan?"

"My middle name starts with a C. So my initials are J C and when I got to the Lightwoods they started calling me Jace, it just kinda stuck."

"I'm glad you found them."

"Me too. I don't know where I'd be without them." She nodded and put her head back on my shoulder. We sat like that for another hour before I felt her shiver.

"You should probably head home." She finally said as she lifted her head from my shoulder. "It's getting late, and colder. I don't want to be the reason you get sick."

"Okay, but will I see you around more often?"

"You know where to find me." I smile and get up. She follows my lead and we stand there for a little while.

"I'll see you around Clary."

"See you." She said and turned around to start walking home. I watched her for a little while until I started making my way home. This afternoon was incredibly eye opening but it felt good to know that she trusted me enough to tell me her darkest secret. And I made myself a silent promise that I wouldn't let her ever have to hold something in for so long that she thought her only way out was suicide.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

 **Time Jump-End of Senior Year**

 **Clary POV:**

By the time summer was starting Jace and I were actually very close. We made it a tradition to meet at least once a week at the skate park. Sometimes he would come by a couple times a week when I was having a really hard time. We got smart one time and actually exchanged phone numbers. Although we don't talk as much, I know I can always send him a text to meet me at the skate park and he'll always be there. It was nice, I finally felt like I had someone who was there for me. But unfortunately for me I'd have to spend my whole summer away from him. We have a vacation home down in Mexico that my parents want to spend the whole summer in. A way for us as a family to 'bond' before I go away to collage. I honestly thought it was a bit ridiculous but after my suicide attempt in December they rarely leave me alone. I haven't been able to find the right time to tell Jace I'm leaving for the whole summer, but seeing as I leave next week, I think its time.

I send him a text to meet me at the skate park in an hour. I make my way to the skate park and I bring my iHome. I sync my phone and start blasting Fall Out Boy and All Time Low, and whatever other music I'm in the mood for. Sure enough an hour later Jace is there. I drop my skateboard and make my way over to him. We hug and take our seat on the side of the bowl.

"So what's up?" He asks and I find it really hard to tell him that I'm leaving.

"I'm going on vacation."

"That's cool. Where too?"

"We have a vacation home in Mexico."

"That's awesome! How long are you going for?"

"The whole summer." I say and look at him and his face looks sad. "I leave next week."

"Oh."

"I've been trying to tell you for a week and a half but I never wanted to ruin our time together." He looks at me and I can't handle the sadness so I look away. "This is my parents way of 'bonding' before I leave for school."

"Well, at least when you come back we get to spend the next 4 years together." I knew he was trying to sound positive but it was hard because I knew he was just as sad as I was that I wouldn't be around. Although spending four years together at NYU would be really nice. We spend the next several hours talking and skating and enjoying each other's company before we don't see each other for three months. When night rolls around and the darkness overcomes the sky we part ways. Giving each other one last hug, we say our goodbyes and I head home. This was going to be the longest summer of my life, and I don't know how I was going to survive.

 **Time Jump-End of Summer**

 **Clary POV:**

When I finally got home from Mexico I was so relieved to be back in New York. There was about a week before I had to move into NYU and I was going to take that time to pack and wrap my head around the fact that I wasn't going to have to live under the thumb of my parents anymore. I texted Jace to meet me at the skate park. About an hour later we were both sitting on the edge of the bowl in silence.

"How was your summer?"

"Long. Hard. How was yours?"

"It was fun. I guess."

"Did you party every night? Get with a shit ton of girls?" He laughed and knew I was right.

"Yea. Needed something to do, since the only person I actually like spending time with was gone."

"At least you had company. I was mostly left alone with my thoughts. And from past experience we both know how terrible that is."

"Yea, but the only company I _wanted_ wasn't here."

"I'm not very good company to keep."

"I beg to differ. You're my favorite company."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Is it really that hard for you to believe that I enjoy your company? That I like spending time with you? That I really like you…." He trailed off, clearly not meaning to say the last thing out loud.

"You what?"

"You heard me."

"You're lying."

"Why would I lie about that Clary?"

"I don't know, but you can't like me."

"And why can't I?"

"Because I'm not good enough for anyone."

"What are you talking about Clary?"

"I'm not good enough for anyone." I said again as I looked down at my hands. "I wasn't good enough for Sebastian, he went and found some on the side because I wasn't comfortable enough to let him get close. I'm not good enough for my parents. They expect too much from me. They wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor. They actually yelled at me for getting into NYU. It's not prestigious enough for them. They didn't talk to me for two weeks because of it. I'm not good enough for any of my so-called friends who didn't even know how much of a lie that sleeping pill story was. They just took it for the truth and that was that. They couldn't see that I was literally drowning in loneliness. And I'm sure as hell not good enough for you." I looked up at him and I could see that my words were shocking to him, but I didn't understand why.

"Why do you think you aren't good enough for me?"

"Just look at me Jace."

"I am looking at you Clary."

"No, I mean look behind the surface. I may have a pretty face, and whatever else people see on the outside but I'm completely broken Jace. I weigh significantly less than I should, I cut myself and burn myself, I tried to kill myself Jace. I took maybe 12 of those pills, and I wanted them to kill me. I am so alone Jace. It took everything in me not to jump off the highest building in Mexico, or jump in front of a train, or drown myself in the ocean." I stopped myself to compose myself. "And look at you Jace. I'm not good enough."

"Clary." He started but I cut him off.

"You are literally perfect. You have charisma, and you are one of the most amazing athletes I've ever seen, you have an amazing family who supports you in everything you do and you're hot." He smirks but I wave it off. "We wouldn't work because someone like you deserves a girl who can make you laugh, and who does look at the bright side of every situation, and someone who enjoys waking up every morning to talk to you and see you. I'll never enjoy waking up in the morning, and I'll never look on the bright side. And I don't think that'll ever change about me."

"Are you done?" He says and I'm kinda confused, but I nod. "Clary, I've been with my fair share of girls. Blondes, brunettes, tall, short, blue eyes, brown eyes. You name it, and I've been with at least two girls with those characteristics."

"I don't see how.." I start but he cuts me off.

"Please let me finish." I nod and he continues. "This past year Clary, every time I see a girl I automatically compare her to you. Especially the red heads. I look at them and everything seems wrong because none of them are you. Despite how you think about yourself, you do make me laugh, and you might not see the bright side but there are times you see the less gloomy side, and sometimes that is your bright side, and Clary, I want to be the reason you want to wake up every morning. If there is anything in this life that I want to do its to show you that life can be amazing." He grabbed my hands and turns to face me. "When I heard about your suicide attempt, I literally puked. After it fully sunk in and just couldn't handle it. I felt like a piece of me was being destroyed because I had no idea what was going on. I had to resort to Simon to get any information I could. But all he had was the story you told your one teacher, and when I didn't see you for a couple months I thought I was going to lose it. I would come to this park and hope that one day you'd be here but it never happened until that day you confessed everything to me. I was honestly beginning to think you moved."

"I was on house arrest."

"What?"

"My parents didn't let me out of the house for a month. I went to school that one day and came home 30 minutes later than I normally would have and my parents freaked. So they grounded me. They got someone from the school to home school me until they weren't so paranoid. When I got back to school it was already old news, and nobody cared anymore, which I was happy about. But I wanted to come here, and I hoped one day you'd show up so I could explain. Although I would have tried to lie to you at first but after a week I was beginning to think you'd never show. Until that day, and I was having a horrible day and I just lost it with you. But I knew that I could trust you, which is why I told you everything. Even if we didn't know each other all that well, you brought some level of comfort to me."

"I'm glad you told me. It just made me like you so much more because I knew that at least some part of you knew you could trust me. And it felt good. I felt like in that moment you needed me. And it felt good to be needed."

"I did need you." I looked into his eyes. "Do you know how exhausting it is to not have anyone I can trust with something that big? And I have been carrying it around with me for 10 years. And nobody knew I cut, I always kept them in spots where nobody could see, and I just felt it all becoming too much. And when you found me here one day, it just felt nice to not have to pretend and even if we didn't talk all that often you were the only constant thing in my life that I could rely on. I finally felt like I had someone."

"So why can't you believe that I like you?"

"I just seems too good to be true. We may not go to the same school but that doesn't mean I don't hear what people say about you. Every girl at my school practically drools over you, and all the guys complain about your athleticism. They hate when our schools play, and not just because of the rivalry but because they have to get their asses handed to them by you. You just have everything going for you. I mean you're going to NYU on a lacrosse scholarship, you're smart as hell and even though you're cocky, you are also incredibly sweet, at least to me. And I'm just riddled with trouble and problems that I can't get rid of. I'll always be this way. My demons already control a big part of my life, I don't want them affecting yours as well."

"I don't care Clary. I don't care if they start affecting me, I want to be there to help you through them."

"You don't know what its like to have to deal with them." I begin the cry again. "I wake up almost every night because of the nightmares, I doubt I'll be able to start harming myself anytime soon and you'd be lucky if I eat a couple grapes for lunch. I'm just I'm too broken to be with someone like you."

"Will you stop thinking about me for one second and think about you." I looked up at him and he wiped the tears from my cheek. "Just say the words, tell me you don't feel anything for me and I'll back off. But if you want me, if you want this, don't deny it because you feel like I deserve better. Just tell me I don't have a chance Clary, and I won't ever mention it again." I'm at a loss for words for a minute because I realize he's right. I can't deny him.

"I can't do that." I manage to get out. "I can't tell you that because I can't deny it. As much as I think you deserve someone better, I can't deny how I feel about you." I look at him and he has a giant smile on his face. Pretty soon the distance between us is gone and his lips are on mine. After a couple minutes he breaks the kiss and we're staring into each others eyes. "I can't promise I'll be the greatest girlfriend in the world, it'll be challenging. I won't always listen to you, and I won't always believe you, but I can promise you that I'll try my best. I'm still not comfortable around men, not as comfortable as you're probably used to your girls being. It'll take me a while to get to that level, but I think I could get there with you."

"I've never had a girlfriend, I've never liked someone enough to make that commitment, so I can't promise you I'll be the best boyfriend in the world, but you never have to worry about me cheating on your, or lying to you, or breaking your heart. I'm in this for as long as you'll have me Clary." He kissed me again. "But I'm here to help you Clary, and even if you just need me to hold you while you cry, than all you have to do is ask. I will do everything in my power to make you feel less lonely. And as far as I'm concerned it could take you years to get to that place with me, and I don't mind waiting until you're comfortable enough with me to allow me to get that close."

"You already do make me feel less lonely." I smile and he smiles back.

"So do I have to ask or is it pretty clear that we're together." He smirks and I can't help but laugh.

"I think it's pretty clear." He leans down and kisses me again, and I can't help but smile against his lips. For the first time in years I finally think that I could actually enjoy something in my life. And it feels pretty damn good to actually look forward to having someone get close to me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

 **Clary POV:**

Jace and I didn't see each other the rest of the week due too packing and getting ready to leave for school. I didn't mind it, we text a lot and if I ever need him in the middle of the night because of a nightmare I'm more than welcome to call him, and he always picks up, which I'm very grateful for. My parents were being the ultimate helicopter parents this past week. I couldn't do anything without them constantly questioning my every move. I packed a bottle of headache medicine and they inspected every pill, but I guess I can't really blame them for that.

I couldn't wait to move into my room and not have to live under the constant scrutiny of my parents. I could finally wear the clothes I wanted too and I could listen to the type of music I wanted too. Everything just seemed like it was falling into place, which was weird for me, and different but I was excited to experience it. We got to NYU and I found my room and started unpacking my things. My mother picked out my outfit today, I was in a deep purple dress that stopped at mid thigh, still long enough to cover my scars, my leather jacket, and black heels. I figured I'd give her this one last opportunity to approve of my outfit. I started to unpack my things when there was a knock on the door. My mom opened it to reveal Isabelle Lightwood. To say I was shocked would be an understatement, and by the looks of it she was shocked as well.

"Clary." Isabelle said. "I was not expecting to see you here."

"Me either." I say and my parents are looking at me with a confused expression. "Mom, dad this is Isabelle Lightwood, and her mom Mayrse."

"Nice to meet you. Do you know Clarissa?" I groan at the use of my full name.

"Yea, we have been over your house a couple times."

"I've never seen you around. It must have been during one of Clarissa's parties."

"Yea, you have an amazing home."

"Thank you. Well Clarissa, we have to go. Jonathan is flying in today and we should be home to greet him." Of course Jonathan would be coming the day that I leave home.

"Of course." My parents give me that look and I instantly put a smile back on my face. "I'll talk to you guys later, have a safe trip home."

"Be careful Clarissa, and don't do anything to disappoint the family." With that they kiss my head and leave. I look over at Isabelle and Mayrse and they look horrified.

"Sorry about that. They aren't all that warm and fuzzy."

"You don't say? They are like the coldest people I've ever met." Isabelle says and I couldn't help but laugh as her mother slaps her shoulder. "Come on mom, who says that to their daughter?"

"People who have everything to lose when it comes to how they appear to the public." I could see the sadness in Isabelle's mothers eyes. "Don't worry about it, it's been my life forever. I'm used to the distance."

"Well, if you need anything at all sweetie, just let us know. We'll be here often due to our children."

"Thank you Mrs. Lightwood." After about an hour of unpacking Isabelle's mom decided to check on Jace. After she leaves Isabelle stops what she's doing and looks directly. "What?"

"So you and my brother huh?"

"Uh, yea. It's very recent."

"I know, but it was about damn time he did something about it. He was driving me nuts about you."

"Really?"

"Yea, after your party that one night it was like he wouldn't shut up about you, and he would randomly disappear for hours some days but when I asked him about it he just refused to answer. Was he with you?"

"He was."

"I totally knew it."

"It isn't what you think though, we were just hanging out. He was surprisingly easy to talk to. I don't know if you know this, but I don't have any friends in high school. They all want something from me. To be invited to my parties, to get the most expensive presents, to meet my brother. It's one thing after another, and clearly after my incident during Christmas it was clear that I had no one." I looked down at the shirt I was folding. "That was until Jace showed up. He listened, and he was there. Sporadically, but he was there more than anyone else."

"Do you mind if I ask you about Christmas?" She sounded hesitant but I understood why, it was a sensitive topic.

"Uh, lets just say I was in a very dark place, and the only way out that I could find was suicide, but I'm getting better. It's tough, but I'm not in that place anymore." I look over at her, and she has the same comforting affect that Jace has, and I feel like eventually I could open up to her as well. "Maybe one day you'll get the full story, but I'm not really sure I can talk about it right now."

"That's okay, but if you ever want to talk, to someone who isn't Jace, I'm all ears." She smiles at me and I smile back. "Any I'm not just saying that because I want to know, I'm not a bitch, despite what rumors say about me."

"I've learned not to trust rumors. After the ones floating around about me, and the ones about Jace, I've learned it's better to just go right to the source and if you really want to find out, to just ask."

"I've mellowed out a lot since I started dating Simon. I used to be way more intense, but that nerd got to me." I couldn't help but laugh at her comment.

"I gotta say, I didn't see that one coming at my party." She laughed and shook her head.

"Most people don't. We met but chance in a comic book store of all places. My little brother was begging me to take him and after awhile I just got tired of him asking. So we went and I was just walking around when I ran into him. He couldn't speak without stuttering for a good 10 minutes, but after about 45 minutes he really came out of his shell. I gave him my number and told him to call me. It took him a couple days but he finally did. We went out a couple times and he was so sweet, and treated me like a human being, it was a nice change from the guys at my high school. After a couple weeks I had to ask him if we were just hanging out or if it was going anywhere, and he was floored. He actually asked me, and I quote 'You are like the most amazing girl I've ever met, and I don't have many friends who are girls, and I would be a complete idiot if I let you go' I laughed and just lunged at him and kissed him. It was awkward at first but we've been together ever since. He's good to me, and he really balances me out."

"How long have you been together?"

"2 and a half years."

"Wow. That's impressive. Where is he going to school?"

"Here. Him and Jace are actually roommates. Jace didn't want to be stuck with a weirdo, and he figured he's known Simon for a while. And Simon didn't want to be stuck with someone gross, and Jace is like the neatest person I know. He has really bad OCD."

"I wouldn't have pegged Jace to have OCD."

"You'll see what I mean, he can't stand clutter." We finish unpacking our room and sit down and talk to get to know each other better. By the time 11 rolled around Isabelle was already passed out, and I wasn't far behind her. I could only hope that my nightmares took a break tonight because once she experiences the first one, I can't keep my secret for long.

 **Jace POV:**

I hear my phone start to buzz in the middle of the night. I don't think anything of it, so I ignore the call and go back to sleep. I hear buzzing again but it isn't my phone but it wakes me up and I hear Simon answer it.

"Hello?" He answers and I hope the phone call doesn't take that long. "Izzy what's wrong? Who is screaming?" That immediately gets my attention. I sit straight up and grab the phone out of his hand.

"Izzy, what's going on?"

"It's Clary, she's screaming and crying and I can't wake her up." Izzy sounds go frantic. "What the hell is going on Jace?"

"I'll be there in 2 minutes. If you want to come here and spend the night with Simon that's cool. It'll take awhile to calm her down." Izzy agrees and hangs up. I grab one of my shirts and run out of my room. Thankfully we are in the same building just a floor apart. I run down to her room and Izzy opens it for me, she waits near her bed to make sure Clary is okay. I walk in and see Clary thrashing around on her bed. I walk over and pin her shoulders to the bed until the trashing stops and she's just crying.

"What the hell is going on Jace?" Izzy is practically in tears herself.

"Clary, come on you gotta wake up. It's not real. It's just nightmare." My talking seems to calm her down, and soon her cries and screams turn into soft whimpers. "Come on Red, wake up. You can do it." Slowly she starts to stir and after about 5 minutes her eyes start to flutter open.

"Jace?"

"Yea, it's me. Are you okay?"

"Yea, I'm so sorry. Bad dream."

"It's okay." I lean down and kiss her cheek and than whisper in her ear, "but good luck explain it to Izzy." She looked over at the door to see a scared and crying Izzy.

"I promise I'll explain everything tomorrow, but I just really want to sleep." Izzy nods and grabs her pillow.

"I'm gonna go spend the night with Simon, meet me for lunch tomorrow at noon. We'll talk." Clary nods and Izzy walks out.

"I'm really sorry." Clary says and I let out a small laugh.

"For what?"

"This. I can't control it, and this happens a lot. It's almost a nightly thing. And Izzy has to deal with it, I just I don't want to put her through that."

"She'll understand. After you explain everything, she'll have like 4 different plans on how to help. She's a great person, and probably the best roommate you could have asked for."

"I don't know how I'm going to explain it to her. It's going to be so hard." Clary scoots over and I take my place next to her on her bed, she curls into my side and rests her head on my chest.

"Just take it slow. If you can't explain everything all at once, just tell her. You don't have to do or say anything you don't want too." I kiss her forehead. "And if you need me to spend the night every couple night, Izzy can always stay with Simon, I'm sure she'd love that." Clary nods and I can feel her body relaxing. Not even 10 minutes later I can hear her breathing start to even out. I lay there with Clary resting on my chest thinking about everything Clary has been through and I couldn't help but go to sleep dreaming about the strongest girl I've ever met.

 **Clary POV:**

After my eventful night last night I was not looking forward to lunch with Izzy today. I knew she deserved an explanation but I didn't know exactly how I was going to get the words out. Having Jace there with me last night was really helpful. After he woke me up and calmed me down I fell asleep without any nightmares, and it felt amazing.

Classes were good, but I couldn't get this lunch with Izzy would of my head. When I walked into the cafeteria I saw Izzy sitting with Simon and Jace. I took a deep breath and made my way over to them. I didn't know if they were staying or not, but I would feel a lot better if Jace was there. When I finally got to the table I took my place next to Jace. He leaned over and kissed my cheek, and I couldn't help but smile. I looked over at Izzy and Simon and instantly got nervous.

"You wanted to talk?" I said and I could feel Jace rubbing circles on my back.

"I want to know what last night was all about. And please don't give me the dumbed down version, I want to know, because if I don't know, I won't be able to know what to do next time." I nod my head and take a deep breath. "Do you want the boys to stay?"

"Well, Jace already knows, and I'm assuming you don't keep anything from Simon, so once you know he'll know." Izzy nods and I look at Jace before looking back at Izzy and Simon. "I guess the first thing you guys should know is that I am not the princess my parents make me out to be to the public. They've done everything in their power to make sure I look like I am some kind of royalty when in reality I'm kind of dying on the inside. When I was six, my uncle started to molest me." Izzy gasped and her hands flew over her mouth. "I didn't know what was going on at first, he snuck into my room one night while I was asleep and I woke up to him touching me. He spent a week with me and it happened every night. When my parents got back my mom noticed something different about me but my uncle told them I got sick while they were away."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"He threatened me. Told me that it would get worse. And it ended up getting worse anyway. He constantly offered to babysit me for my parents, and they let him. He would kiss me, and touch me, and rub me. I cried every single time but he just kept going. He would whisper things in my ear while he did it. Like 'you're so beautiful Clarissa' or 'you belong to me Clarissa' which is why I hate it when my father calls me that, it just reminds me of him. It lasted for four years."

"Did you finally tell someone? Is that why he stopped?"

"No, he was killed in a car accident. The day I found out I went into my room and I cried tears of joy. I was so happy it was finally over. He always told me that when I grew up he would have more fun with me, and that I would enjoy it more. He would sneak any type of touch in he could when we were together. If it was a slight brush of the hands or if it was him grabbing me by the waist, sometimes he would pick me up and sit me on his lap, and I couldn't say a thing about it because he would tell me I would pay the next time we were alone. I was so scared of him, but I was a little girl, and he told me nobody would believe me, and I believed him." I was crying at this point, and I could feel Jace place his hand on my knee and squeeze, reassuring me he was still there. "A couple years after he died I started to self harm. It started off small, skipping meals, or running into things to cause bruises. Nothing too bad, but when I got to high school I started cutting, and burning myself. But to keep up the image, I had to hide them. Most of the cuts are on my upper thigh, or the bottom of my foot, or my hips. Places people will never see. But I hit an all time low when I tried to kill myself. I wasn't seeking a way to do it, I ran out of toothpaste and went into my parents room to get more when I found the pills. Before I could even register what I was doing I took a handful of pills and swallowed them. Not even 2 minutes later I was falling to the ground and everything went black. I woke up a week later in the hospital. My dad was pissed, said I almost destroyed the family name. Said I made him a joke, and people thought he wasn't a good enough parent if his own daughter wanted to kill herself. When I went back to school I was the talk of kids. Everyone asked me about it until I came up with the sleeping pill story. It was plausible, and people believed it. Soon enough that was the story and suicide wasn't even on anyone's mind anymore. Except mine." I looked over at Jace and smiled at him, and he smiled back. "After I had confessed everything to Jace I felt better but it still didn't make the thoughts, or the actions go away. It took everything in me not to try it again over the summer. But for the first time in my life, I'm actually glad to be alive, and Jace is the biggest reason why." He leaned over and quickly kissed me on the lips.

"And last night?"

"Happens often. They're nightmares. Mostly of my uncle, but sometimes they are different. Sometimes it's of the suicide, or my parents, or anything that just really makes me feel like shit, but the screaming is because of my uncle. I'm really sorry if I freaked you out, but they will happen a lot. And if you want a new roommate, I totally understand. I'm not that great of a person to be around, I'm broken and I'm negative, and all around just not good for anyone."

"I don't think that's true. But at least I know I can always call Jace, you know if he decides to pick up the phone."

"I'm sorry, I was so tired and it wasn't the vibrate that I have set for Clary so I didn't think it was important."

"Well thank god for Simon or I would have be seriously lost." I couldn't help but laugh at their sibling banter. I wish I was close to my brother like they were, but I've given up on the thought of ever having a normal family.

"So that's my story. It's pretty fucked up."

"Nobody has a perfect life Clary, you just happen to have it worse than others, but the important thing is that you're still here, and you have us. Like I told you before, I'm not going to be your friend because I want something from you. I actually really like you, and anybody who can tame Jace, is definitely someone who I could learn a few tricks from." She laughed and I couldn't help but laugh along. I looked at Jace and he looked a little annoyed at Izzy, but this was good, and she listened and knew exactly how to make me feel normal. I've never had real friends, but I think that things could finally be looking up for me, and I plan on making every second of it count.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

 **Time Jump-Two Months Later**

 **Clary POV:**

Things were going really well at school, and for the first time I was actually really happy. It was weird but it was actually really nice. The nightmares have been less often but I still wake up a couple times a week screaming my lips off. Izzy had in fact come up with different methods of calming me down. Some were a bit much but they were pretty effective so I couldn't complain much. Except for when she pours water on me. That was a bit shocking the first time, but she claims she only uses in extreme circumstances. Personally I think she enjoys it a little too much.

All of my classes were going really well. I enjoyed them, and despite being undecided when I started I think I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do fir the rest of my life. It was weird thinking about the future. My parents were always talking about my future and discussing what my options were but I never really thought much about it. The way that I was feeling, I never thought I had a future. I always just assumed I was too damaged and too broken to ever be useful to society.

Having Jace by my side was probably one of the most amazing feelings in the world. He was so supportive, and patient, and understanding about everything, that I can finally feel like I don't have to face all my problems alone. It was so amazing. Although I'm still having trouble with other issues like eating and cutting, I knew that no matter what I wasn't alone anymore. It might take me forever to completely heal, but I had someone who was willing to take the journey with me, and that was more than enough to help me through the days where I felt like it was impossible for me to get through.

It was about a week before thanksgiving break, and I wasn't looking forward too it. I was getting used to living the way I was at school, no expectations, and no being criticized about everything I did, it was nice. I was sitting at lunch with Izzy, Jace and Simon when my phone started to ring. I looked at it to see that it was my mother. I groaned but answered anyway.

"Hi mom."

"Clarissa dear, how are you?"

"I'm good mom. How are you and dad?"

"We're fantastic. Listen Clarissa, your father and I won't be home for thanksgiving. I have a huge opening in France that week, and your father is coming with me."

"So it's just going to be Jonathan and I at home?"

"No, your brother isn't coming home for the holiday. He is going to be spending time with his teammates."

"What am I supposed to do mom? Eat thanksgiving by myself?" I try to sound normal but even I can hear the annoyance in my voice.

"Nonsense, we don't trust you at home alone. You need to find somewhere to stay."

"Are you serious?" Now I wasn't even trying to hide my anger and I think the others picked up on it as well because Jace was drawing circles on my back to calm me down. "You're just ditching me and not even letting me in my own house for the holidays?"

"We don't want a repeat of what happened last Christmas, you nearly destroyed the family name Clarissa, and we can't have you risking that again."

"Good to know you care about my well being mom. I'm glad our family name is more precious than my life. Way to make me feel like I fucking matter."

"Clarissa, you will not speak to me in that tone of voice. I am still your mother." I let out a frustrated sigh and lean my head on my free hand.

"Whatever mom. I'll find somewhere to stay."

"And don't tell the press."

"Yea, cause my first thought is to tell the press that my own parents don't want to spend he holiday season with me, let alone trust me to be alone cause they more afraid of what will be said about them than what happens to me." She started to speak but I didn't want to hear it. "Maybe I'll see you at Christmas mom, but I'm not going to hold my breath. I have to go. I have class. Bye." I hung up before I could let her speak another word. I slammed my phone down on the table and growled. Just as I'm about to lose it I feel a soft kiss being pressed to my shoulder. Immediately I begin to calm down. I look to my left and see Jace and I instantly feel better. I smile and lean into his side and rest my head on his shoulder.

"What was that all about?" Jace asks before he kisses the top of my head.

"My mom has a huge opening in France the week of thanksgiving and my dad is going with her, and Jonathan is staying in Texas with a bunch of his teammates. My parents don't trust me home alone, so they said I can't go home for break." I let out a dry laugh. "They don't want me ruining the family name, and I can't tell the press because it doesn't look good for them."

"I really don't know why your parents had kids." Izzy said and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Easy. They had the perfect child in Jonathan, and they thought they could do it again. And I was only ever a disappointment to them, but they couldn't get rid of me, being the governor your ever moved is watched and it would look odd if they had a daughter one day and than the next day they didn't, so my mom spent a lot of her time molding me in the 'perfect daughter'. It backfired big time. I mean, I can dress the part, and I can fake it pretty well, but it killed my mom to know that it took so much effort and that she had to put so much effort into me. Although she appreciated me faking it, she was never happy that it wasn't real." I started playing with Jace's hand as I recalled my childhood. "We had nothing to bond over. I'm not artistic, and I'm not into country clubs, or fancy shopping, or traveling and learning exotic languages. I could just never fake that part, and it really divided us."

"That really sucks. I grew up worshipping the ground my mother walked on." Izzy said and I couldn't help but wish I had that.

"She got so upset with me one year, because she had a gallery opening up in Germany, and I really didn't want to go. Jonathan was in the NFL at this point and he was playing the Giants, and I hadn't seen him in years. My dad had a box, and I really wanted to see him play. My mom was pissed. She always thought having a daughter meant that I would tag along wherever she went. But I really wanted to see my brother, so I went with my dad. My mom ended up taking my cousin, and ever since that trip she takes her with her whenever she has to travel and my father can't go with her. She brags about her all the time, it's like I don't even exist anymore. She found a replacement." They all nodded and we sat there for a little while until Izzy spoke up.

"Let me talk to my mom, I'm sure you are more than willing to stay with us for the break."

"Thank you Izzy. I really appreciate it." Izzy took out her phone and texted her mom, and sure enough her mom answered not even a minute later.

"She said you are more than welcome. And she's sorry your parents are so hard to deal with." I let out a small laugh.

"Thank you." The rest of the week went by rather slowly but at least I didn't have to worry about going home for this break. I was actually going to spend time with a real family, and I was actually really excited to see what that was like.

We arrived at the Lightwood house and when I got out of the car I looked up at their house in awe.

"It's not much, but its home."

"Are you kidding me? This is the most beautiful home I've ever seen." I said as I looked at the house again, and I was completely serious. It was white with light green shudders and a garden out front with a big wrap around porch. But most importantly it looked homey, and I've never experienced that before.

"It's nothing compared to yours." Izzy says and I can hear a little bit of sadness and jealousy in her voice. I turn to face her and give her a smile.

"That house is colder than a freezer. There is no love, and there is no joy in that house. It's big, but it's a horrible place to grow up in. Trust me, I would give up that whole house if it meant I got to have a real family."

"I'm sorry. Its just money is tight, and so is space. My little brother wasn't exactly planned, and we were already pushing it when we adopted Jace, so I guess I just wish we could afford a bigger house." I grab her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze.

"Bigger isn't always better." She smiles at me and we make out way inside.

"Welcome Clary, it's nice to see you again."

"You too Mrs. Lightwood."

"This is my husband Robert, and this is our youngest Max. Alec should be here a little later, apparently he has a surprise for us." She hugs both Jace and Izzy before she speaks again. "We don't have much room so I'm afraid you'll have to share with Izzy."

"That's totally fine. I've always wondered what it would be like to actually have to share a room. It seemed like it would be fun when I was younger, but my brother is 10 years older than me, and we had enough rooms in my house to hold everyone in my dads staff."

"Why aren't you staying with him for the holidays?"

"He wanted to spend time with his teammates. I can't say I blame him though, who would want to spend time with their 18 year old sister when you can celebrate thanksgiving with the whole defensive line down in Texas."

"Well, we are glad to have you here. We've been dying to meet you ever since we learned about you and Jace, all we really know about you is what the paper says." Mr. Lightwood says and Izzy slaps him on the arm.

"Oh my god dad. That's so rude." I can't help but laugh at Izzy's annoyance.

"It's no big deal Iz, every one in New York read about it. It's brought up far more often than I think you realize."

"Really?" She asks and I nod.

"Everyone is curious. They think that since it's almost been a year that it's somehow easier to talk about." She just nods and than tells me to follow her upstairs to see where I would be staying for the next couple days. Her room is just what I pictured it would be life. I canopy bed, with purple walls, a nice sized closet and a huge vanity mirror. It was very Izzy, and I couldn't help but love her for it. The spent all of our time in her room until we were called down for dinner. Went I got down to the dinning room I honestly didn't know what to do, when I finally sat down I just kept looking around. There was an empty seat, assuming they were expecting Alec by now was clear, but everyone's focus was on me.

"Is something wrong Clary?" Izzy asks and I just slowly shake my head.

"No, this is just my first family dinner." All of their eyes widened.

"Really?" Mrs. Lightwoods asks and I just nod. "You've never sat down with your family and ate dinner?"

"I never ate a meal with my family. Either my mom was away, or my dad was busy and my brother didn't have the time. I ate with he cook sometimes. He would have his son with him occasionally, but other than that, it was either eating dinner alone or not eating at all."

"That must have been awful."

"I was used to it. It was normal for me to walk downstairs and there being a note saying my mom would be gone for the week, or that Jonathan would be away at another football camp or that my dad was having a business dinner. It comes with the lifestyle."

"That is no way for a child to grow up. Well, I hope you enjoy your first family dinner." She smiled at me and I smiled back. Dinner was absolutely amazing. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much. I couldn't help but feel like I belonged when I was with them. It felt right. We were all sitting around the table drinking coffee and just talking when we heard the front door open. Soon Alec appeared around the corner.

"Alec, what took you so long?"

"I didn't know if I wanted to come."

"Why not?" He opened his mouth to speak but than closed it again, after about 30 seconds he spoke.

"I have something to tell you all." Mrs. Lightwood nodded. He took a deep breath. "The surprise I had for you tonight is my boyfriend, and I didn't know if I wanted to come because I didn't know if I was ready to tell you, but he talked me into it. He said I either tell my family of we would break up, and he means a lot to me, so I came."

"Well, where is he?" Mrs. Lightwood asked and I think it caught Alec off guard.

"He's in the living room."

"Bring him in here." Alec nodded and went to get him, I went to take another sip of my coffee when Alec came around the corner and I started chocking.

"Clary are you alright?" I nodded and finally caught my breath.

"Magnus? Magnus Bane?" I said and his eyes lit up.

"Oh my god biscuit! What are you doing here?"

"I needed a place to stay or the holidays. I haven't seen you in years!" I got up and gave him a huge hug and when we parted everyone had the same confused expression.

"How do you two know each other?" Alec asked. I turn around and look at them all.

"Remember the cooks son that I had dinner with sometimes?" They all nod. "Well meet the son." Magnus put his arm around my shoulder and I leaned into him. It felt nice seeing him again.

"My father worked for them for about 8 years before he was fired. How is that miserable man you call your father?"

"Wouldn't really know. I haven't talked to him since I left for college." He nodded and looked at me with sad eyes.

"I read about what happened in the paper." He said and the room got really quiet. I saw Mrs. Lightwood whisper something to Max and he left. "Are you alright?"

"I'm getting there. I was just really lonely. And I acted on an impulse, I wasn't thinking. I mean suicide was on my mind more often than I'd like to admit, but I honestly didn't think I had the guts to go through with it. The best thing those two ever did for me was finding me and saving my life."

"I knew something was happening in that house, I just couldn't figure out what. I begged my dad to try and stay really late one night so I could try and help, but he didn't listen."

"There was nothing you could have done Magnus." I tried to reassure him but I could tell he felt a little guilty for not doing anything. He gave me another hug and I finally sat back down next to Jace. He reached his arm around my chair and rubbed circles on my back.

"Anyway, this is Magnus, and we've been dating for almost a year."

"Why didn't you tell us sooner Alec?"

"I didn't know how you'd react. And Magnus's dad kicked him out after he found out, and I guess I was scared you two would do the same."

"Did you really think we'd do that?"

"I didn't know, so I decided not to find out."

"We love you Alec. For exactly who you are." Mrs. Lightwood said and Alec let out a deep breath. They both joined us at the table and we sat around until it was late talking and catching up. I never knew what I was missing until I got here. By the time 10 rolled around Jace had grabbed my hand and asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. I nodded, grabbed my coat and we headed outside to walk around the town. After walking for 10 minutes in silence we made it to a little park and sat down on a bench. Jace looked a little nervous, and he was starting to freak me out.

"Jace? Are you alright? You look nervous."

"I need to tell you something." Immediately my mind went to every bad situation you could think of, he cheated on me, he didn't like me, he was transferring schools, he wanted me to leave. My heart rate picked up and so did my breathing. "Whoa, Clary are you okay?"

"What did I do wrong?" I asked while trying to control my breathing and he looked at me with the most confused expression.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I should have phrased it differently. I meant, that I wanted to share something with you that I've been feeling for awhile now." As soon as he said it that way I started to regain control of my breathing. "Are you okay now?"

"Yea, I'm good. I just started freaking out. You know how my mind works, it always thinks of the worst situations first." He grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it.

"I know, and I should have phrased it that way from the beginning. But what I wanted to say was that." He paused and took a deep breath. The anticipation was killing me. "I love you Clary." As soon as he said those words, I'm pretty sure my jaw hit the ground. He loved me, Jace actually loved me.

"Are you serious?" I asked and immediately felt like an idiot. I laughed and started shaking my head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that out loud."

"It's okay." He laughed with me. "But I do. I love you Clary, and I have for a while now. I just felt like if I said it you'd freak out, and not gonna lie I was a little scared myself. I've never loved someone before, much less been in love. It took me a couple days for it to fully sink in but I've been in love with you for so long Clary. I'm pretty sure it started after the party at your house. You were constantly on my mind, and it didn't help that we didn't go to the same school. I relied on seeing you every couple months are your skate park and when I'd leave I'd immediately feel like something was missing. I tried to keep my mind off you with other girls, but like I told you before, I always compared them to you." I couldn't help but start to cry. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nobody's ever told me that they love me before."

"Seriously?" I nod. "I will tell you for as long as you want me around. I promise to never go a day without telling you how much I love you." I look up into his eyes and I see nothing but the truth and I can't help but smile, and than I realize that I haven't said it back.

"I love you too Jace." And I can just see the happiness in his eyes. "I've never known what it felt like to be loved. Even the parental love, or the friendship love. But I can feel it from you. I can feel it every single time you look at me, or when you kiss me, or when you are calming me down from a nightmare. It's like it radiates off of you. At first I didn't know what it was. I never thought it was possible for someone to love me. I mean, my own parents can't even tell me they love me, how could someone else love me? But I believe you when you tell me."

"I love you so much Clary and I promise to let you know every single day." He cups his hands around my face and closes the distance. We sat there kissing for who knows how long until his phone started to ring. We broke apart and he answered it. Izzy was starting to get worried when we didn't come back. We had been out there for an hour, we got up and headed back to the Lightwoods, and I couldn't get the smile off my face for the rest of the night. It felt amazing to be loved, and to love someone in return.

 **Time Jump-Spring Semester**

 **Jace POV:**

Lacrosse season was in full swing and it was kicking my ass. Between morning workouts, afternoon practices, and evening study hours I barely saw Clary and I my sleep schedule was struggling. Thankfully Clary understood hoe hectic my schedule was during the season and helped me with my homework, or bringing me food to the library, or helping me with everyday tasks like laundry or keeping my room clean. She knew how stretched thin and I really appreciated everything she did for me.

I was at practice today and I heard a bunch of guys behind me talking about 'the hottest chick they'd ever seen' coming towards us. I had my back turned and when I turned around I was taken aback. The girl they were all talking about was Clary, but she didn't look like she normally did, she looked like what she did in high school. She was wearing her favorite black skater skirt, with a gold top, with matching gold heels and her leather jacket, her hair was perfectly curled and she had a smoky eye going on, she looked hot as hell but I didn't want my whole team checking her out. One of the guys started to walk over to her, I put my hand on his shoulder and pulled him back and started making my way over to her. She walked up to the fence and our lips met.

"What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like that?" I asked.

"Why does it matter dude? Your girlfriend is sexy as hell." One of them said from behind me as others began to whistle.

"Thank you, please stop staring." I said and she laughed. "Seriously, I haven't seen you dress like this since high school."

"My parents are coming today. Along with my brother. Apparently he has a game up here and he wanted to see me."

"That's strange."

"I know. But I told them to meet me here because I wanted to see you before I'm dragged away and have to listen to their criticism the whole night." She pouted and I couldn't help but laugh. The rest of my team was still staring, but I really couldn't blame them, she looked good. We stood there talking for a little until there was a communal gasp from behind us.

"Holy shit. That's Jonathan Morgenstern. Defensive end for the Dallas Cowboys. What the hell is he doing here?" I couldn't help but laugh and when I looked back at Clary she looked less than thrilled. Her family made her way over to her and Jonathan was the first to speak.

"Long time no see little sis." He pulled her into a hug, or what I guess they consider a hug. "Who is this?"

"This is Jace, my boyfriend. Jace this is Jonathan, and my parents." I shook all their hands, but it wasn't a very friendly encounter.

"Clarissa dear, we have reservation at 5, we can't be late, we want to be home by 7 at the latest." She nodded and turned towards me. I gave her a quick kiss and smiled at her.

"You can do this Clare, I'll be waiting for your return, most likely in your bed asleep, but I'll be there."

"Thanks, I'm gonna need all the loving I can get from you after a couple hours with them." I gave her one more kiss.

"Love you."

"Love you too." She said back and walked towards her family. I felt bad that she was going to have to put up with their shit for a couple hours; I could already see it affecting her. I made my way back over to the team and they were stunned into place.

"What?"

"How the hell did you land her?" One of them said and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Believe it or not we were friends for about year before we started dating. We went to different high schools and I met her at one of her parties, and the rest is kind of history."

"I've heard of her, but I never seen her in any pictures." One of the guys says

"I find that kind of hard to believe. She's the governors daughter, and her brother is THE Jonathan Morgenstern, and I heard her mom is like crazy famous over in Europe. How can you avoid the media?" Another guys chimes in.

"She doesn't like the attention. She tries to stay out of the spotlight. She never wanted that life." I say and they all nod in understanding. "Now, if you guys are done thinking about my girlfriend, we have an hour left of practice and I really just want to go to sleep." They all laugh and we continue with practice. By the time 5:45 rolls around I'm completely exhausted. I get back to my room, I take a shower and than make my way down to Clary's room. Izzy opens the door and I walk in and flop down on the bed. I inhale Clary's scent and not even 5 minutes later I start to fall asleep.

 **Clary POV:**

When we got to the restaurant we were immediately seated. I knew this was going to be a long night, and I wasn't really looking forward to all their questions. After sitting in silence for about 10 minutes my father finally decides to break it.

"Clarissa, how long have you been seeing that boy?" I internally groan and try my hardest not to roll my eyes at him.

"Almost a year."

"And we're just hearing about this?"

"We don't talk all that often dad. And the first thought in my head isn't to talk about my boyfriend."

"You turned down all those eligible boys for him?" My mother says in a disgusted tone.

"We've talked about this mom. I didn't like any of those guys. They were all major assholes." My brother laughs and my parents look appalled. "He's good to me, he makes me happy, and he helps me. Isn't that enough for you guys?"

"He has no status Clarissa." My dad so lovingly points out.

"I don't care about status, I'm not as shallow as you. How come I can't be happy?"

"We never said that."

"But you'd rather me be with a boy who has status, and money, and material things instead of me being with someone who actually make me happy, and makes me want to live."

"Clarissa, I thought we said we would never bring that up again." My mother hissed.

"No, you said that mom. You're embarrassed about it, but it didn't happen to you. It happened to me. I was the one who almost died, and had to deal with the consequences, and Jace was the one who helped me through it. He was the one who let me cry and let me get it off my chest, he was there to listen to me when you weren't." I looked down at my food trying not to cry. "I was so lonely and so incredibly lost for so long and neither of you noticed. Neither of you cared enough to pay attention to me. And I thought suicide was the only option for me, and if you two didn't decide to come home when you did, I'd be dead right now, and you know what, sometimes I feel like you would have rather preferred the latter."

"That isn't true Clarissa." My father starts but I cut him off.

"I'm finally happy and content with life, please don't try and screw that up by pushing you ideals and your fucked up morals onto me. I like who I am now, and I finally realized that I don't need your approval in life." I looked at all three of them and took a deep breath. "Now, we came here to have a family dinner, can we please talk about something different." They nod and have small talk for the rest of the night. When they finally drop me off they don't say a single word to me and they leave. I make my way into my room where I see Jace passed out in my bed. I laugh and make my way over to him.

"Babe, wake up." I gently rub his shoulder until he starts to stir awake. After about 10 minutes his eyes finally open.

"Hey." He says in his sexy sleepy voice. "How was dinner?"

"A nightmare. But it's over now and I'm so glad."

"I'm sorry it sucked." He said as he sat up in my bed. "Why don't you get ready for bed and I'll cuddle all your problems away." I couldn't help but giggle.

"You got yourself a deal." I give him a quick kiss and get ready for bed. When I finally crawl into bed, I lay my head on his chest and his arms wrap protectively around me and I can't help but feel at peace when I'm with him. "Goodnight Jace. I love you." I kiss his bare chest and I can feel his chest vibrate with a soft laugh.

"Goodnight Clary. I love you too." He kisses the top of my head and not even a minute later he's fast asleep. I close my eyes and slowly drift off into darkness to the sound of his steady heartbeat, and for the first time in a long time, I actually have a happy dream, of my future with Jace and I couldn't help but smile.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

 **Time Jump-End of Freshman Year**

 **Clary POV:**

It was the week of finals and I only had one left. Freshman year was amazing and I was so excited to be able to spend my summer with Jace. My parents are spending the summer traveling, so I don't have to go to Mexico and I was so thrilled. My last final was history, and I wasn't a big fan of it so I knew it was probably going to take me the whole time to finish it. It was scheduled to go until 2:30 and Jace was planning on meeting me outside the building.

I took my seat and the final was handed out. After the first couple questions I knew this was going to take me awhile. Little by little I notice the classroom become more empty as student after student handed in their final. Before I knew it I was the last kid in the class. I looked at the clock and noticed that it was almost 2:30, and I sighed. I looked up at the teacher was gone. I waited about 15 seconds to see if he would come back until I felt his hot breath on my neck. His hands were on either side of me and flashbacks immediately began to flood my mind.

"Hello Clarissa." He said in a seductive voice, and I couldn't help but see the similarities he had of my uncle.

"What are you doing professor?"

"I'm no longer your professor Clarissa, and I've been waiting all semester so I could finally be able to touch you." He ran his fingers up my arm and I couldn't help but shiver. "I know you want me just as much. I saw the way you would look at me."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I stammered out trying to keep my cool.

"Don't pretend Clarissa, I know you want me."

"Professor Pangborn, what are you doing?" I say as he turns me around in my chair and licks his lips.

"I'm finally taking what I want Clarissa." He inches closer to me. "I thought that was obvious." I kicked him in the shin and he backs away and I take the opportunity to run. But before I can make it very far he grabs my arm and picks me up and slams me on the table. "I knew you'd be feisty. I like it." He started to slide my shirt up and I started to scream.

"Help! Someone help me!" I screamed and he clamped his hand over my mouth.

"Scream again and I swear you'll regret it." His hand was still sliding up my shirt and I couldn't help but cry. He kept his hand over my mouth so I wouldn't scream again. It felt like I was there forever feeling his hands roam my body when the door swung opened, and there stood Jace.

"Get your hands off of her." He said with so much venom in his voice that in any other situation I would have been frightened myself but I didn't care, he was there and I was saved.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I'm going to do nothing, but" he turned around and there stood campus security and the dean of students. "I'm sure they can find someway to handle it."

He immediately let me go and Jace rushed over to me and wrapped his arms around me as I cried into his shoulder. I've never felt more relieved in my life. We sat there for a couple minutes while I composed myself.

"How did you get them here?"

"I was waiting for you outside, and when you didn't come out at 2:30, I just thought your professor gave you a little more time. But after 10 minutes I realized something might be wrong and I found a couple of them sitting outside at a table in the middle of a meeting with the dean and asked them if they could help me find you. They thought I was weird but I said I didn't know my way around the building, and it is their job so they came with me."

"Thank you."

"Are you okay?"

"That brought back a lot of unwanted memories. He sounded just like him. I felt like a scared 6 year old girl again. I hated it."

"I'm so sorry Clare."

"Can I stay with you tonight. I'll drop all of my stuff off at home when I get back but I really don't think I can be alone tonight."

"Of course. How about I meet you at your house, and we have a movie night. Whatever you want to watch, with any food you want." I couldn't help but smile. I lean up and press a quick kiss to his cheek.

"I would really love that. Can you get some ice cream before you come over?" I smiled and he let out a little laugh.

"Of course. Strawberry?"

"You know me so well." He laughed and stood up and reached out his hand. I grabbed it and we made our way out of the classroom when the dean stopped us.

"I'm really sorry about this whole situation."

"Thank you."

"I don't know what else to do but pass you in this class for the semester, and just give you our deepest apologies."

"I really appreciate it." She nodded at me and we exited the building. My car was already packed to the max with all my things, so all I had to do was fill out my exit form and I was ready to go. Jace and I kissed goodbye and got into our separate cars and drove off. It took about 45 minutes to get home, and when I pulled up there were no cars in the driveway. My parents were probably already gone for the summer and I was kind of relieved. I didn't want to face them right now, especially after what went down with my professor today.

I took all of my things up to my room, and when I got to the doorway I stopped. It felt weird to be back in my room. I hadn't been home since I left for college. My parents didn't want me home, and honestly I didn't want to be home but they couldn't keep me out all summer. I walked through my sitting room and went into my room and started to unpack my things. About 30 minutes later I hear the doorbell ring. I make my way downstairs and there stands Jace with strawberry ice cream, my favorite blanket of his, and one of his hoodies that I constantly stole at school. He honestly couldn't get more perfect. I grabbed the hoodie and slipped it on as I showed him the way to my room. When I opened the door he slightly gasped.

"Holy shit. You have a living room?"

"Technically it's a sitting room, but I had it modified because I wanted to spend as little time with my family as possible. The couch pulls out into a bed, so if you can get that ready, I'll get the movie set up." He nodded and started to unfold the bed. I was turned towards the TV but I could hear him laughing behind me. "What's so funny?"

"This pull out bed is like tempurpedic. Aren't these supposed to be like the most uncomfortable mattresses in the world?"

"Yes, but being the governors daughter does come with some perks. I told my parents that my nightmares were being caused from lack of sleep. So my dad got me a new bed, but I also said that if I wanted to have a sleep over I'd need to have a bed for my friends, and I didn't want to ever be put in the position of having to sleep on the extra bed and risk the nightmares coming back, so my father talked to the manager of the Sleepy's and got him to make me a customized pull out couch. I've never really used it, so I hope it's comfortable." He puts the sheets on and get the pillows from my bed and sets up the blanket and than gets himself situated. "So how is it?"

"Pretty comfy. Are we staying out here?"

"Yea. I figured it'd be easier because if we get tired during the movie we can just shut it off and go to bed."

"Works for me. Now, where did you put the ice cream?"

"In the fridge. It's in my actual room towards the bathroom." He nods and leaves and I continue to get the movie ready. After about 10 minutes I notice that he still isn't back so I go look for him. When I walk into my room I can see him look around with an awestruck look in his eyes. "Jace?"

"Your room is bigger than the whole upstairs of my house." He said and my mind immediately went back to the conversation I had with Izzy over thanksgiving break. "I can't believe you get to live here. I would do anything to be able to give Robert and Mayrse a house like this. Especially with everything that's going on."

"What do you mean?"

"College is pretty much sucking them dry, especially since Iz, Alec and I are all there at once, and Max needs to go to a private school and Mayrse is in between jobs right now so money is really tight. Robert is working almost 75 hour weeks just to keep the house. It sucks, which is why I tried so hard to get a scholarship, cause at least that would help with some of the money." I didn't realize that things were so hard for them. I guess since I never really had to worry about money because my father is pretty much guaranteed to be in office for the next 6 years it never crossed my mind.

We eventually made our way out to the living room and I put on the movie. Throughout the movie I couldn't get what Jace said out of my head. I mean, I have this whole house to myself for the summer and his family is packed like a can of worms in theirs and on the verge of losing it. I had to check in with my parents tomorrow and I figured that maybe I could ask if the Lightwoods would be able to stay in our house for a while while they get back on their feet.

It was a little after midnight when I noticed that Jace was already asleep. I was kind of scared to sleep tonight with the risk of more intense nightmares so I just put another movie on and started to watch. By the time 4 am rolled around I was fighting to stay awake. Finally sleep took me over and I guess I was so tired that my brain didn't get the chance to have a nightmare.

I woke up to an empty bed, and take a look around and can't see Jace anywhere. I get up and start to walk towards the door when I hear his voice, and he sounds pissed.

"What do you mean you're losing the house?" I hear him say. "They can't just take it, you have four kids that rely on that. Where are you supposed to live? Your life is in that town." There was a pause before he started talking again. "Mayrse, it's not fair, they can't kick us out." I couldn't listen anymore. I had lunch with my parents in 20 minutes and I had to get ready. When I walked out of my room Jace was sitting on the newly folded couch and his head was in his hands. I walked over and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, I have lunch with my parents, but I will be back later. Feel free to explore the house, have the chef make you food. I shouldn't be too long." I gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." With that I walked outside and got into my car and made my way to the restaurant. After 10 minutes of driving I parked my car and walked into the restaurant and sat down with my parents. It was awkward at first but what else did I expect.

"Clarissa. How are you?"

"I'm fine. When do you leave for your world wide vacation?"

"Tomorrow. I won't be back until September but your father will be making trips back for work, but he'll be staying in the house in the city. So you probably won't see him all that often."

"So I'm going to be home alone all summer?"

"Yes, and the chef is only employed for the summer. We don't really have use for that huge house without kids so it'll just be sitting there."

"I have a favor to ask you guys, and before you turn me down, can you just hear me out?" They nod and I continue. "You remember my boyfriend Jace right?" They nod. "Well his family is struggling right now, they have three kids in college and one who needs to go to the a private school and his mom is in between jobs and the father is working his ass off just to try and keep their house.."

"Clarissa, please get to the point." My mother said in a annoyed tone.

"Since you clearly aren't using the house this summer, and I overheard Jace talking to his parents and I think they're losing their house."

"And?"

"Can they move into our house for at least the summer until they can figure out their money situation."

"It's still our house Clarissa."

"But there are enough rooms to house 15 people, and nobody but me will be home, and think about it, with a whole family I won't be home alone so there won't be any more problems. You won't have to worry about me destroying our family name. I'll be around people all the time." I can see both of their minds spinning with possibilities and I knew the last part was probably going to sell them on the idea. After a 7 minute hushed conversation between my parents they finally look back at me.

"Alright Clarissa, you have yourself a deal. They can move in for the summer, and figure out their money situation." I don't think I've ever been so happy that I actually got up and hugged them both. Lunch was alright, but I was just waiting to get back to my house and tell Jace. After about 45 minutes I was on my way back home. When I got inside I was so happy. I skipped right up to my room to find Jace sitting there looking at his phone.

"Hey. What are you doing?" I ask as I sit down next to him.

"Looking for anything that can help my parents out. They called earlier and said that they are losing the house. I can't let that happen. They've done so much for me and I feel like I have to do something to repay the favor."

"I've already thought two steps ahead of you."

"What do you mean?"

"I over heard you on the phone this morning."

"Oh."

"And I have a solution."

"You do?"

"Yes, I talked to my parents, and they won't be around all summer, so I'd be stuck here alone. BUT I convinced them to let your family move in here for the summer until they figure everything out."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. I just told them that if I was surrounded by you guys that I couldn't possibly destroy the family name and I think that sold it for them."

"So they can move in for the summer?"

"They can move in as soon as they can." Jace nearly jumped out of his skin and scooped me up into a hug and gave me the biggest kiss of my life. "Why don't we go over and let them know?"

"Okay." We left and made it to the Lightwood house in 10 minutes and Jace practically ran inside. I ran inside after him and his family looked incredibly sad. "Everyone, I have amazing news."

"Unless you have a new house for us, nothing could help."

"Well, that's exactly what I came here to tell you. Clary's parents have agreed to let you guys move into their house for the summer until you figure out what to do."

"Are you kidding me? How the hell did you pull that off?" Alec asked.

"I told them that if I was surrounded by other people I wouldn't have the opportunity to destroy the family name, and they were completely sold on that."

"Are you completely serious?"

"Yes, you can move in whenever you want."

"Is tonight alright?"

"Totally, I'll let the chef know and there will be dinner waiting for you all when you get there." Before I could even blink I was being bear hugged by his entire family.

"Clary, this means absolutely everything to us. I thought my family was going to have to live on the streets, and it was tearing me apart. Thank you for all of this." Robert said, and I could hear the strain in his voice. I knew he really meant it.

"You guys have been absolutely amazing to me. Letting me stay with you guys for thanksgiving and Christmas, and every other break. For treating me like I matter and allowing me to become part of your family. I can't thank you guys enough for that. This is just the beginning of my thanks." Jace put his arm around me and pulled me into his side and kissed the top of my head.

Jace and I got home and I immediately told the chef that there was going to be 7 of us for dinner tonight and he got cooking. A couple hours later there was a knock on the door and the Lightwoods were there. I showed them to the rooms where they would be staying and allowed them to get settled. Everything seemed to be going great, the Lightwoods seemed happy in the first time in awhile and knowing that I brought that happiness was an amazing feeling.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

 **Time Jump-One Month Later**

 **Clary POV:**

The Lightwoods had settled in nicely and for the first time I actually loved being in this house. They made it homey, and every single day I'd wake up next to Jace and when we got downstairs I could hear the laughter echo through the house. I never thought that would ever happen.

One day I woke up and Jace wasn't there. I looked around but realized that he wasn't in my room at all. I walked downstairs and before I made it around the corner I could hear Mrs. Lightwood talking.

"Alright kids, I called this family meeting because we need to have a serious talk." She sounded really serious and clearly I wasn't invited because I'm not part of the family but I couldn't find it in me to stop listening. "As you all know, money has been really tight lately which is why we're living in the governors house for the time being but I feel it's necessary to do this."

"Do what mom? We have no idea what you're even talking about." I heard Izzy says and I had to silence my laugh.

"Jace told me that Clary's birthday is in August, and I want to give her the best birthday gift ever." My jaw dropped and I couldn't believe that this whole family meeting was about me. "Now Jace told me that Clary has never celebrated a birthday, and sure she'll be 19 so it isn't a very exciting birthday, but everyone should experience what it feels like to celebrate a birthday."

"I completely agree mom. That poor girl has been through so much shit she deserves this."

"Come on, she has me, that's gift enough." I heard Jace say and I could just hear the smirk in his voice. "Ow. Izzy."

"Don't be an asshole. She deserves this, she has to deal with her past, her parents, and you. That girl deserves a freaking medal for all that."

"What are you talking about Isabelle?" He mom asks and I knew she just opened the can of worms I was hoping would stay closed for the rest of my life.

"Well, I mean, I was just saying, um…" Izzy was searching for the right words to say and I knew that it wasn't going to go away. I sighed and made my way into the kitchen.

"I think I can explain what she means." I say and everyone looks at me. I give them a small smile and Jace gets up and makes his way over to me.

"You don't have to tell them. It's completely up to you." He says as he grabs at a stray hair and places it behind my ear.

"It certainly can't go away can it? Izzy already said something." I looked over at the table and I could see the curiosity on everyone's face. "But I don't want Max to hear it. He doesn't need to hear something like that."

"Alright. Hey Iz, can you take Max out for an hour? Clary wants to talk to everyone."

"Of course." She stands up and grabs Max's hand and walks towards us. "I'm really sorry Clary. I wasn't thinking."

"I know. It's alright." I make my way over to the table and take a seat. I look at Mr. and Mrs. Lightwood and Alec and I take a deep breath and grab Jace's hand. "Well, it started when I was 6…"

It took awhile but after 45 minutes I was done telling them my story. I got through it without crying for the first time. I was still holding onto Jace's hand, and he was rubbing calming circles on my back. After about 5 minutes of silence Mrs. Lightwood begins to speak.

"Clary, we're so sorry. No child should ever have to go through that." Mrs. Lightwood said as she reached her hand across the table and grabbed my free hand.

"And that's what prompted the suicide, well that and the constant neglect that I got from my parents. I'm sure you all read about in the paper. Well, at least the details that my father allowed out to the press."

"We read about it, but there wasn't much to go on. I figured your father didn't want anyone prying into your life, but I thought it was because he wanted to help you heal, I didn't realize he did it to protect his own ass."

"Everything my parents have done is to protect their own ass. My father can't be involved in a scandal without it potentially ruining his chances of reelection, and a suicide attempt is definitely categorized as that. So he kept everything quiet until I told one of my teachers a bullshit story and than that was what was circulating so it got my father off, and that was all he cared about. They grounded me for a month, I wasn't allowed to leave the house, and when I was allowed to leave the house I was old news and nobody cared."

"I'm so sorry Clary, I couldn't even imagine living that way. It must have been so hard not having anyone."

"It sucked, but I had Jace." I looked over and smiled at him and he smiled back. "He found me in the woods one day and he was surprisingly easy to talk too. He helped me in a lot of ways. He was the first person I opened up too, and to my surprise he stuck around." I felt him squeezed me hand and I couldn't help but smile even more. "He saved my life, as cliché as that sounds. He really did."

"How did you parents react to Jace?" Alec asked.

"Yea, how did your parents react to me? You never told me." Jace chimed in and I laughed.

"They weren't happy. Before Jace and I were together they were constantly trying to set me up with their friends kids, but I would go out on one date with them and I would never see them again, they were awful. They were just like my father. They were less than pleased that Jace didn't have any status, or money, or anything that they value." I looked at Jace and I could see the sadness in his eyes even if he wasn't showing it to anyone else. "I told them that none of that mattered to me. I was with Jace because he made me happy, and he made me feel safe and that he helped me. They haven't said anything since than. But as long as I'm not disappointing them or causing disgrace to the family name I don't think they really care."

"Wow. That's" Alec paused to find the right word "Intense."

"That's my life." There was a pause in the conversation until we heard the front door open. Nobody thought anything of it because we all thought it would be Izzy and Max but when I heard deep voices I got up and went to the living room and I was shocked when Jonathan stood there with 5 of his teammates. "Jonathan, what the hell are you doing here? And who are these guys?"

"Jon, you never said your sister was hot." The one said from the back and winked at me, and he gave me the creeps.

"Chill man, she's my sister, and she isn't single. At least, I don't think she is. Last time we talked she had a boyfriend."

"I'm right here. You could ask. And I do still have my boyfriend, his family is currently staying here for the summer with me."

"Why?"

"Mom and dad didn't trust me alone and it just so happens that they were having some trouble, and mom and dad are gone and they told me you wouldn't be here." By this time the whole Lightwood family was with me and Jace put his arm around my waist. "And I'll ask again, what are you doing here?"

"Chill sis. I came home because I felt bad that you were going to be here all alone, and I know we aren't close, and we really didn't grow up together, but it felt wrong to leave you in this house by yourself, but now that I know you aren't we'll only be staying for a couple days and then we'll be out of your hair."

"You really came back for me Jon?" I asked in a small voice not knowing whether to believe him or not.

"Of course Clare. Look I know we aren't close like other siblings. I know I'm 10 years older than you so we never really hung out while we were growing up, and football kept me extra busy but that doesn't mean I don't love you." He said and that's what pushed me over the edge, and I started crying. "What's wrong?" He asked and I took a deep breath.

"I didn't know you felt that way."

"Of course I do Clary, you're still my baby sister, and you still mean a lot to me. I regret not knowing you. I feel like we're practically strangers, and I shouldn't feel that way about my sister." He took a step closer to me. "I focused so much on football because it gave me a reason to be away from mom and dad but it also took me away from you, and it's one of my biggest regrets."

"Really? I thought you loved football. I know dad loved that you played."

"I learned to love it. When I was a junior in high school I actually fell in love with the sport and I just got that much better. But when I was little it just gave me a reason to hang out with friends, to go out to dinner after practice with their families, or to spend the weekend with them when we had a game. I was selfish, and I did what I had to do to get through."

"I didn't know you felt that way about mom and dad."

"It might have seemed that way, but they were only supportive because everyone praised them for having such a talented son. It was all about their image. It always has been." He took another step closer to me and I felt Jace's grip on my hip tighten a little bit. "When I heard about what happened to you I almost got on the next flight home, but mom and dad told me you were fine and they'd be disappointed if I missed the game that weekend. Clary, I had no idea you were that depressed."

"There is a lot you don't know about me Jon." I said and leaned into Jace.

"I know, and I regret that, but I was hoping that could change."

"How? You live in Texas and I go to school here. We'll never see each other."

"I'm actually in the middle of being traded to the Giants. I want to be your big brother Clary, and I want to know that you can talk to me about anything. I never want to hear that my baby sister almost committed suicide." I could hear the collective gasp from his teammates. "I was so devastated. My coaches actually stopped playing me that game because I was so out of it." He took a deep breath. "So what do you say Clare-Bear? Can we start over?" I smiled at the use of his nickname he gave me when I was young. I looked up at Jace and he smiled down at me and kissed the top of my head.

"I'd really love that Jon." I said as I walked over to him and flung my arms around his neck. Being over six foot tall he leaned down and picked me up and bear hugged me. It felt really nice to know that I was going to have an actual relationship with my brother. Despite the last 18 years, knowing that he actually cared about me and loved me made me really hopeful for our future relationship.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

 **Jace POV:**

After Jon and Clary's conversation Jon went to upstairs to get all his buddies set up in the extra rooms. I have to admit, I was thrilled when Jon said he wanted to be apart of Clary's life but I was also really hesitant. I don't want her to have to go through the any more heartbreak. I went upstairs to grab my charger when I bumped into Jonathan.

"Sorry man, I didn't see you there." I said and he looked down on me, which I'm not used too but he had a good 4 inches on me.

"It's all good. I actually wanted to talk to you." I knew this might happen eventually but it didn't mean it didn't scare me a little. Her parents already didn't like me, and I don't think I could handle him not liking me as well.

"What about?"

"My sister obviously." He said and I tried to keep my nerves in check. I didn't get nervous often but Jonathan was a big dude and he hits people for a living, you'd have to be insane if he didn't scare you a little. "We weren't close when we were younger, and I regret that, and I know my parents being neglectful really tore her apart, but she told my parents that you make her happy, and you make life worth living, and I just wanted to thank you for that."

"Wait, what?"

"I don't know what I would have done if Clary died. I've always thought that maybe once we were older we would have the opportunity to rebuild our relationship. And when I heard that she tried to kill herself I was scared that I would never get that opportunity. She means a lot to me, and I haven't always shown that to her, and I think I would hate myself if I never got to tell her and show her. The fact that she found safety and comfort in you means a lot to me. So thank you for saving my sister. My parents always thought she was a disappointment, and sometimes they even regretted having her, but when I found out I was getting a sister, I was pumped. I always wanted a sibling, and to know that she got that depressed, it really hit home for me."

"I think you should have a really serious talk with her, because the neglect was only part of the problem."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not my business to tell. But I think you deserve to know. Look, Clary is the most amazing girl I've ever met. And to be honest, I was lost when I met her as well. Even when she was stuck in that dark period of her life she was always the bright spot in my life."

"You love her?"

"More than anything. I couldn't picture my life without her."

"Don't hurt her. I don't agree with my parents, I can see how happy she is with you, and if you make her happy, I'm all for it."

"I wouldn't dream of hurting her." He nods.

"Alright Jace, well I'm glad we had this talk. I'll see you around, and take good care of her for me. I won't be back in New York for a couple months at least. Keep her safe."

"I will." He tapped his hand on my shoulder before he walk down the stairs. I took a couple minutes to compose myself. I knew that Clary probably wasn't planning on telling Jonathan about their uncle but if they were going to start over I think he deserved to know. Finally I decided to go back and join my family. When I walk into the living room I see Clary laughing with Izzy but I decide to pull her aside to let her know that Jonathan might be wanting to have a serious talk with her. When we got into the kitchen I turned around and placed a sweet kiss on her lips. " I had a nice conversation with Jonathan a couple minutes ago."

"Oh really? What about?"

"He wanted to thank me for making you happy, but I told him he needed to have a serious conversation with you."

"Why?"

"Because he thinks that the neglect was the only thing that effected you and if you're going to rebuild your relationship with him, I think he deserves to know." She sighs and rests her head on my chest.

"I knew that he would have to hear it eventually, but I really wish I didn't have to tell him. I don't want him to feel responsible."

"I know Clare, but its better to start off a new relationship with no secrets."

"Ugh, I hate when you're right." I laughed and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you Clary, and if you need me there while you talk to him, all you have to do is say the words."

"I love you too. Thank you for willing to do everything and anything for me. I know it's hard to hear it, and you've sat through it three times now. I appreciate that more than you know."

"I will literally do anything for you Clare, you know that." She leaned up and kissed me quickly on the lips. We stood there lose in each others company for who knows how long before we heard someone clear their throat, and when we broke apart Jonathan stood in the door way. I leaned down and whispered in Clary's ear, "I think he wants to talk."

"Jonathan." Clary said with a lot of hesitation in her voice.

"I want to talk to you. Alone."

"About what?"

"What drove you to suicide. Other than the neglect."

"Well, if you want to hear that story, Jace stays." He began to protest but Clary cut him off. "Jon, it's a really terrible story, and I haven't had to tell anyone without Jace by my side and I'm not going to start now. If you want to hear it, Jace is going to be there."

"Okay, can we talk now?" Clary looks at the clock which reads 2:45 and she looks back at him a nods. We all take out seats at the table and Clary begins. Instantly I can see the color pale from Jon's face. I don't think he can fully comprehend what Clary is telling him but she doesn't stop. She grips my hand tighter at the parts that are especially painful but I rub circles on her back to calm her down. I can see a ton of different emotions cross Jon's face and I couldn't blame him, because I felt all of those emotions the first time Clary told me, but the difference is, he knew the man. Jon had a personal relationship with him, and I think that made it 10 times harder to believe. By the time Clary was finished talking Jon's hands were in fists and he looked like he was ready to explode. "If that man wasn't already dead, I would fucking kill him myself."

"Jon, it was almost 9 years ago, and as much as it's effected me, and destroyed me, and almost killed me, I'm not in that place anymore. Jace really helped me come to terms with it, and he's supported me and protected me, and I may be struggling still, but I promise I'm not in that place."

"Do mom and dad know?" Jon asked and slowly unclenched his fists.

"Come on Jon? Do you think they would have believed me? They barely pay attention to me now, let alone when I was 6."

"Clary, you could have gotten him sent to jail. You do realize that?"

"No Jon, I couldn't have. He never raped me, so there would be no evidence, just the word of a 6 year old kid. It wouldn't have gone far. And honestly I'm glad it went the way it did. I'm glad that fucker is dead. He ruined me, and he died. He got what he deserved."

"Clary." He started but Clary cut him off.

"Jon, I told you because I wanted to start our new relationship off with no secrets. I wanted us to have a clean slate. Please don't make me regret telling you. I want us to have a good relationship. I really do."

"Alright Clary, but I'm so sorry I was never around. I could have done something; I could have been your babysitter instead of him. If I wasn't so caught up with football I could have been there for you. I could have saved you."

"It isn't your fault Jon. He took advantage of me. He took advantage of a 6 year old little girl." I could hear the crack in her voice and I squeezed her hand and she looked at me and smiled before she continued to talk. "I may not be completely whole yet Jon. I still have issues and I still have demons, but I really don't want you to dwell on this. I want you to just be my brother, and treat my like an annoying, pain in the ass sister that you want to tickle until I'm begging for you to stop, or giving me a noogie when I'm making fun of you. I just want to have a normal relationship with you Jon." I looked at Jon and I could see all the anger and frustration melt away as a smile replaced it all.

"I'm pissed Clary, pissed that I didn't know, and pissed that he took advantage of you, and pissed that you felt like you couldn't tell me, but I can't blame that one on you. I wasn't around. But I promise I will be the over protective, and intimidating big brother that I was suppose to be all those years ago." Clary got up and so did Jon and they met in the middle of the kitchen and hugged. I couldn't help but be so proud of Clary. She was so strong and so incredible, and she was all mine. Knowing that she was over coming her past and rebuilding her relationship with Jon, I could just see how much happiness she was giving off and I couldn't help but smile. After they were done hugging she looked back at me and I couldn't help but smirk. She giggled and smiled at me before looking back at Jon. "And if you hurt her Jace, I'll beat the shit out of you."

"Jon!" Clary shouted and smacked Jon on the arm.

"What? I'm being the protective big brother. I need to get some practice in. I'm not used to it!" I laughed and got up from my seat and made my way over to Clary and wrapped my arms around her shoulder.

"Don't worry Jon, I promise I won't hurt her." Clary leaned into me and smiled. Jon held out his hand and I took it. Jon smiled on last time at Clary before making his way back into the living room. I looked down at Clary and smiled. "I love you so much Clary."

"I love you too Jace." She got up on her tippy toes and gave me a kiss on the lips and put her arms around my neck and hugged me. I hugged her back taking in the sweet smell of her hair and I felt her smile against my neck, and I knew that this was a forever thing, and I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with this girl.


	10. Chapter 10

**This chapter is kinda short but I just wanted to show the Lightwood's giving back and also the relationship between Clary and Jon and show how they were rebuilding it. I promise, the next chapter will be better, but I think that this story is nearing the end. Possibly a couple more chapters to go. I hope you've all enjoyed it so far!**

 **Chapter Ten**

 **Time Jump-Clary Birthday**

 **Jace POV:**

For the past month I've been sneaking around trying to help Maryse plan this birthday surprise for Clary, and I have to admit, it was going to be amazing! It wasn't going to be anything huge, but Maryse wanted to give Clary an actual birthday. I had told her that Clary had never been allowed to celebrate her birthday and Maryse almost had a mental breakdown.

My job was to keep Clary busy that day until I got a text from Izzy saying that everything was ready, so to distract Clary I decided that I was going to take her out all day, we could do anything she wanted to do. Surprisingly Clary was really stoked about this. She normally doesn't like being the center of attention or having everything paid for, but today she was willing to let me buy her anything I wanted too. When 7 o'clock rolled around I was taking Clary back to her house. She was bouncing in her seat, probably for too much caffeine but she looked so excited and it made me really happy. When we pulled into her driveway and got out of the car I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to me.

"What's going on Jace?"

"I have a surprise for you." She looked at me with a confused expression. "But you have to wear this blindfold and let me take you too it."

"I'm not sure Jace…" She started but I cut her off.

"Clary, it's your birthday, let me have this. Please." I could see her face relax and he nodded. I placed the blindfold over her eyes, and she gripped my arm tighter. I placed my hand on her waist and lead her through the forest.

"Jace, we've been walking for awhile, are we ever going to get there?"

"We're almost there Clare, just trust me."

"I do trust you, but that doesn't mean that I'm not a little worried about where you're leading me." Finally when I got to the skate park, I saw my family, and Jonathan, and a couple of his buddies all standing around. I lean down and whisper in her ear as I slowly take off the blindfold.

"Happy birthday baby." I feel her shiver against me and when she opens her eyes she gasps and her hand flies over her mouth.

"SURPRISE!" They all shout and when I look at Clary she has tears in her eyes, and wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her into my side.

"Oh my god. You did this for me?" She asked while her head was buried into my side.

"We all did it for you. It was Maryse's idea, she wanted to do something special, and when I told her that you've never really celebrated your birthday she wanted to give you a party."

"I can't believe you all did this for me." She said and walked over to my family. "I don't even know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. We owe you so much Clary, and this is something I think every child should experience. I tried to reach your parents, but I couldn't get ahold of them." Maryse looked sad, but Clary didn't seem surprised at all.

"Don't worry about them Mrs. Lightwood, I think they would have just brought the mood down." She smiled and I instantly saw Mayrse perk up. Clary looked to the side and when she caught sight of Jonathan her smile got even bigger. "Jon, what are you doing here?"

"Jace called me a few weeks ago telling me what they had planned, and I wanted to be here to celebrate my sisters first birthday." She smirked at her, and Clary laughed.

"It means a lot Jon, thank you for coming." She went over and hugged him and looked back at me. "And I can't believe you brought them to my skate park."

"Wait, this is yours?" Jon asked.

"Yea, I asked mom and dad to build it for me when I was 14. I was having a hard time, and they were frustrated that I wasn't opening up to them so they caved and built it for me."

"Why is it so far away from the house?"

"Couldn't risk the image. Everyone who had ever seen me thought I was prim and proper. I wore dressed and skirts and heels. Mom and dad didn't want the world to see me in skinny jeans, and a beanie while I blasted alternative music and road around on my skateboard. It apparently wasn't very becoming of me, and they didn't want a rebel as a child. Sure that all went out the window with the suicide, but I tried my hardest to please them. I just couldn't do it anymore. This was my safe place for a long time."

"And how did Jace know about it?"

"He found me here one day. It kind became our spot. We'd meet here every few months, and talk." Clary looked back at me and smiled. "This is where he found out everything, and where became friends, where we first kissed. This place holds a lot of good memories. And now I can add this to the list," She made her way over to me and snaked her arms around my waist, "and I can't thank you enough for that."

"I wanted to make you're birthday special, and I couldn't think of a better place than where it all started for us." I placed my hand on the small of her back. "I love you Clary. And I promise you that for as long as we're together every birthday will be special."

"I love you too. And I can't wait to experience every single one of them with you." I leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on her lips. The rest of the night went really well. We all had a lot of fun, and it was great to see Clary so happy. Her smile never left her face all night, and I don't remember a time I heard her laugh so much. All in all, I think her birthday was a success, and I couldn't wait to continue to surprise her, and make her this happy for a long time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

 **Time Jump-Thanksgiving Break**

 **Clary POV:**

Thanksgiving was today and I was nervous about the whole night. Since Jon was traded to the Giants, my parents wanted to have a family thanksgiving for the first time ever, and to make things even weirder, they invited the Lightwoods. I think it has something to do with wanting to know who was staying in their house for three months, but I was still scared. Nothing good can come out of this, and it was only going to take one thing until shit hit the fan, and I was dreading when that happens.

I was in my room getting dressed, having to please my mother again was really annoying but it was one less thing to fight about today so I put on an emerald green dress, with black heels, and my black leather jacket. I curled my hair and did my make up, and I was staring at my reflection in the mirror wondering when all of this torture was going to end, I hated pretending to be my mothers little Barbie doll, and I couldn't wait until I was actually in charge of my own life. I was pulled out of my mind when I heard the doorbell ring. I took a deep breath and made my way down stairs. When I entered the living room the entire Lightwood family was there, and instantly I was relaxed. They all looked really good, I told them tonight was going to be fancy, since that's the only thing my mother knows, and I hope that status and money weren't going to be brought up.

We all made our way into the dinning room where everything was just way to expensive for anyone's taste but my parents. We all took our seats and for the first 10 minutes it was quiet while we were being served the soup and salad. I looked over at Jace and the rest of the Lightwoods and they all looked extremely uncomfortable, which I can't blame them. I was uncomfortable too. After another 5 minutes my mother decided to break the silence.

"So, Maryse is it?" Mrs. Lightwood nodded. "Were you able to find a nice house after you moved out of here?"

"Yes. I finally got a job, so it took a lot of pressure off of Robert, and now being a two income family we were able to find a house back in our town that is a little cramped but we make it work."

"That's wonderful, I can't even imagine having four kids." My mother started, and I knew she was going to say something to diminish me. "I mean getting one of mine to accomplish something was hard enough. I can't imagine having two more kids that are like Clarissa." I sighed and let my head fall a little until I felt a hand on my knee. I looked up and Jace was smiling at me, and it made me feel worthy, and that's all that mattered.

"What's wrong with Clary?" Maryse asked and I wish she would have just let it go, but I guess she was so shocked that it kinda slipped out, cause the look on her face said she regretted saying it in the first place.

"She's a disappointment. Always has been. I had another one so that Valentine and I couldn't have two picture perfect children, and let's just say when she was about 5 or 6, she just shut down. She stopped listening to me, and it took all my might to get her to even look good enough to be let out in the public's eye." She looked over at Jonathan and smiled. "Now this one, he was a perfect child, if I could have replicated him I would have." Maryse just nodded and let it go. But unfortunately Jonathan wasn't going to let that happen.

"Mother, you shouldn't speak to Clary like that." He said and I could tell he was holding back his anger, he didn't want it to escalate anything farther but he clearly wanted her to know what she said was wrong.

"And why shouldn't I? She's my child, I can speak to her however I want too." I can tell that this slightly pushed him over the edge because his fists clenched.

"Oh please, like you've ever treated her like your child. You treat her like the bloody plague, and you know, I can't believe she's put up with it for this long."

"What are you talking about Jonathan? You've never spoken to me like this." My mom said and I could tell she was upset with his tone.

"I never spoke to you like this because I threw myself into football so I wouldn't have to be around you."

"No, you threw yourself into football to make something of yourself and make us proud."

"No I didn't. I didn't even like football at first I've I'm being completely honest. I started playing because I wanted out of this house. I wanted to be around my friends. I started playing because after every game my friends parents would take me out to dinner with them and I got a chance to be apart of a real family. It wasn't until I was a junior in high school that I started to love the sport. And that's when I started playing for myself. You guys are the coldest parents I've ever met." Jonathan was on full on break down and I just grabbed Jace's hand under the table and waited for it to be over.

"How can you say that? We've provided you and Clarissa with everything you could ever want or need."

"Yea, every material thing on this planet you got us, but the only thing that ever truly mattered was love and you've never given that out. I mean, do you two even love each other? Or is that all for show too?"

"Jonathan." My fathers voiced boomed, but Jonathan wasn't backing down.

"No. You need to hear this. You need to hear how horrible it's been to be your child, and how completely oblivious you've been to Clary." I instantly stiffened, this is not how I expected this night to go, but if Jonathan lets this slip in a fit of rage I don't know what I'm going to do.

"What are you talking about?" My father asked.

"Jesus, come on. You two can't seriously be this thick? Just look at Clary, look at Clarissa and tell me what you see?" My parents both looked at me but didn't say anything. "Oh for the love of god. You two are the worst parents in the world." He took a deep breath and than started to shake his head.

"I don't know what you're trying to accomplish here Jonathan but you're making no sense." My mother said.

"The reason Clary is so completely depressed and driven to suicide is because you two missed the most horrific thing that happened to Clary." Now I was tense and I was begging Jonathan to stop talking but I could tell he wasn't done. "Uncle Hodge was fucking molesting Clary for four years!" He yelled and my head immediately dropped. Jace's arms were around me, and my parents gasped.

"My brother wouldn't do that." My father said.

"Jonathan you are making ridiculous accusations against a dead man, let him rest in peace."

"No. That piece of shit deserves his grave spit on and destroyed. Tell them Clary, tell them what happened and show them how awful they are." I looked up to see my parents eyes on me. I looked at Jace who was drawing circles on my back. I took a deep breath and decided that it was time.

"I was six…" I said and I looked at my mother. "You were going to Spain to be at the opening of your gallery there. Dad was staying in the city for the week, and Jonathan was at a football camp. He offered to babysit me, because I wasn't allowed to go with you mom. Do you remember why I wasn't allowed?" She shook her head. "You told dad that I was 'miserable to be around and I would ruin your night' so I was stuck at home with him. The first time it happened I didn't even know what was happening. I was asleep. I was laying in my bed with my teddy bear and my pink blanket tucked around me when I woke up to him rubbing in between my legs." My father looked stunned and my mother was unreadable. "When you came back you noticed that I was different but he told you that I was sick that week but not to worry because he took really good care of me." I was crying at this point, but they should know that this happened. "Uncle Hodge would tell me how beautiful I was, or how he was going to have so much fun with me when I was older. Thankfully, that fucker died, cause I can only imagine how much more fun he would have had with me behind your back since I never mattered anyway."

"Clarissa." My mother started but I cut her off.

"He molested me for four years mom. Four years I was being touched and kissed and rubbed by that man, and you two didn't even care. You weren't around enough to know that I was dying. I was completely hollow but you couldn't be bothered. You didn't care about my problems, as long as you bought me the nicest car or the most expensive outfit you thought I'd be fine. Well guess what, I wasn't fine. I'm not fine, and I tried to kill myself because I felt like I wasn't good enough for anyone, especially you. I was just a big disappointment isn't that right mother? I never did anything right, and I was a constant grey cloud in your life. The black sheep of the family so to speak. But I only got that way because your brother took advantage of an innocent girl, but what would you know about that? You were never around long enough to notice how he looked at me, or how he would interact with me. I was a burden. And not worthy enough of your attention, or your love." Everything was eerily silent.

"Now do you understand why I said you two were the worst? God, your own daughter, your little girl dad was being tainted by your own brother and you didn't even care."

"We didn't know. She never said anything."

"That's because he would hit her, and threaten her. And why would she? You wouldn't have cared anyway." Jonathan was a loose cannon and I felt Jace shift beside me and stand. He put his hand on Jonathan's shoulder.

"Jonathan, I think you need to calm down, clearly this isn't going to be resolved tonight." He said and than my mother stood up.

"Shut up." My mother said in her normal harsh tone. "You have no business involved in this family."

"He's more apart of this family than you are. He is the only reason Clary is still alive, why she's happy, why she is loved for the first time in her life. Jace has every right to be involved in family business." I couldn't help but smile at everything Jon said about Jace because it was true. He was a huge reason why I'm still around.

"He will never be worthy of being involved in this family. He may have been able to manipulate the lose screw but he will never be good enough to be apart of the Morgenstern family." I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up and ran upstairs to my room and into my bathroom. I was looking frantically for an unused razor. Once I found one I broke it apart. I stripped out of my dress and lay in the bathtub and began to cut. I needed a release and after a couple minutes I slowly began to drift off into darkness.

 **Jace POV:**

After Clary ran off, I decided to stay for a couple more minutes to calm Jonathan down. This wasn't how I wanted to spend my thanksgiving, but I was glad I was here when this finally was revealed.

"Come on Jon, you need to go take a walk or something. Cool down. This isn't helping anyone right now." He nodded, threw his napkin on the table and walked out of the house. I looked at my family. "Why don't you all head home. I'm sure you can salvage this thanksgiving." They all nodded and Maryse gave me a hug before they were gone. It was just her parents and I. I took a deep breath. "I know this is a lot of information to take in, and I know it's a hard subject, but it's true. Everything Clary told you was the truth. You may not want to accept it, but it happened. And as much as you dislike me being with your daughter, I'm not going anywhere any time soon. I love her, and I plan on keeping her for the rest of my life. Her happiness means everything to me. So please, just keep your distance until you're ready to discuss this in a mature matter. I don't want her to be too overwhelmed." I left before they could say anything. When I made it to Clary's room I knocked but there was no answer. I opened the door and she wasn't there. I made my way into her room and still no sign of her. The bathroom door was semi opened and when I walked over and opened it Clary was laying in the bathtub covered in blood.

"Clary."


	12. Chapter 12

**So, I updated twice today because I'm going away for a couple weeks, and I won't be able to update any of my stories. I wasn't going to leave you all hanging with a cliffhanger for the next couple weeks cause that would have been cruel. So, I hope that you enjoy this chapter and if you like it wonderful! If you don't well I hope that you keep that to yourself! Thank you for following this story and I hope you enjoy! :)**

 **Chapter Twelve**

 **Time Jump-One Week Later**

 **Jace POV:**

Clary had been in the hospital for a week now but she hasn't woken up. The doctors said it was a miracle she survived; she'd lost so much blood. They had kept her sedated so that her body could adjust to all the new blood she got. I haven't left her side. Maryse had called NYU and explained the situation and told us that as long as we were back before finals it was all right to miss. Of course we had doctors write us notes so that they had enough proof. Jonathan was acting as a bodyguard to Clary's room. Her parents tried to come the first couple days, but Jonathan made sure that they wouldn't step foot into her room until they started acting like parents. It's safe to say, they haven't been back.

Looking at Clary sleeping in that bed was driving me crazy. I couldn't help but feel if I just ran after her that night that this whole thing could have been avoided. I could have stopped her. But no, I wanted to defuse the situation and get my family out of there before anything else went wrong. I just wanted everything and everyone to calm down, and in the end my girlfriend almost died.

It was almost midnight and I had my head resting on the bed as I slipped in and out of consciousness. It had been a long week, and after fighting with the nurses they had agreed to let me stay with her around the clock. There was no way in hell that I was going to leave her, I wanted to be the first face she saw when she woke up. I was slightly asleep, but still aware of my surroundings when I heard a groan. I immediately snapped my head up and saw Clary's emerald green eyes looking at me. She looked very confused but I couldn't help but be so happy that she was awake.

"What happened?" She asked, her voice hoarse from lack of talking. I reached out and grabbed her hand and intertwined our fingers together as I sat on the edge of the bed.

"Thanksgiving. Jonathan told your parents what happened when you were little. You were incredibly strong and absolutely amazing when you told them, but Jon wasn't so happy with them. I tried to calm Jonathan down your mother kind of snapped at me. Told me that I had no right to intrude on family business. That pissed Jonathan off even more. Your mother than told him that I may have been able to manipulate the lose screw of the family but I'd never be worthy to be apart of your family and you ran." I looked back up at her and she was crying. I reached out and wiped her tears. "I'm so sorry I didn't run after you Clare. I just wanted everything to calm down and get my family out of there before Jonathan blew a gasket. I came to find you after, and when I saw you in the bathtub I almost lost it."

"I'm so sorry Jace. I didn't mean for it to get that bad. I just I needed a release. I needed al of it to go away, and I retreated back to old habits, but I promise I never meant to die. I didn't want to kill myself. I wouldn't leave you. You have to know that. I wouldn't leave you ever." She was rambling and crying and I just leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers. She immediately relaxed and when I pulled away I wiped more of her tears away.

"I know that Clare. I know you wouldn't leave me. Trust me, I know. You scared the shit out of me."

"I'm so sorry." She started to shake her head and I couldn't help but smile because she was alive and awake and that's all I've been wishing for since I found her. I had her scoot over in the bed and I joined her. I put my arm around her shoulder and she cuddled into my side. I placed a kiss on the top of her head and could faintly smell the strawberry scented shampoo.

"I love you Clary. I love you so much, and I'm just thankful that you're alive and awake. I've been sitting by this bed for a week waiting to see those pretty eyes of yours."

"I'm so sorry." She just kept repeating. After about an hour I felt her breathing even out, and when I looked down her eyes were closed. I didn't bother to wake her up because at this moment holding her in my arms knowing that she would be alright was everything I needed.

 **Time Jump-Christmas Break**

 **Jace POV:**

After Clary was discharged from the hospital we went back to NYU and went on with the rest of the semester. Clary was doing better every single day, and I couldn't be more proud. Christmas was coming soon and I knew exactly what was going to give her. I was going to propose. I know we're young but that doesn't change the way I feel about her. I want her for the rest of my life, and I plan on solidifying that with her as soon as I talk to Jon.

I knew that I would never get the permission I wanted from her parents, so Jon was the next best thing. I had called him last week and set up a time for us to meet for lunch. I was sitting in the restaurant and I was as hell. Five minutes later Jon walked in, we shook hands and sat down and ordered. I took a deep breath and began.

"So, I asked you here for a reason. Christmas is coming and I wanted to propose to Clary. I know I would never get your parents permission, so I came to you. I want your blessing to marry Clary."

"Wow Jace. I wow. That means a lot to me. It would be an honor to call you my brother. And I couldn't picture anyone better for my sister. You've done so much for her. I truly can't thank you enough."

"I love her, and I'd do anything for her, but I want to ask her to marry me because I want her to know that I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

"I'm happy for you guys. I really am. And I appreciate that you wanted my blessing. My parents are going to throw a fit, but who really cares about them." I laughed and so did Jon. We sat there for about an hour eating and talking. It was nice to have Jonathan on my side, and I knew that when her parents found out, it was going to be one hell of a fight.

When Christmas finally rolled around. I was nervous. I knew I loved Clary, and I knew Clary loved me. Asking was the nerve-racking part. The Lightwoods invited Clary and Jon over for Christmas dinner and I knew how excited Clary was. After the last holiday she was excited to spend Christmas normally.

When the doorbell rang I opened it to see Clary in her favorite pair of jeans and a long sleeve tee. The dress code was casual just like the whole evening would be, until I proposed. Dinner had passed and we were all sitting in the living room drinking coffee, or tea, or hot chocolate just laughing and having an amazing time. It was now or never. I cleared my throat to get everyone's attention.

"Excuse me everyone, but I have a present for Clary." I placed my cup down on the table and grabbed the small box rom under the tree. I gave it to her and nonchalantly kneeled in front of her while she opened it up. She finally opened it up and gasped. She looked between the ring and me and tears started welling up in her eyes. "I love you Clary, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Making you happy every single chance that I get. Will you marry me?" She dropped the box and threw her arms around my neck and I was thrown backwards. There were cheers from the background and when I looked into her eyes and moved the hair surrounding her face.

"Yes." She said and I couldn't help but smile and laugh. We got up and I placed the ring on her left hand. "It's so beautiful Jace."

"I can't take all the credit. I had some input from the peanut gallery." I looked back and she followed my eyes and she was met with all the smiling faces of my family.

"You all helped?" She asked and Jon was the first to speak.

"Well, after he came to ask for my blessing we started talking and getting rid of all the ideas that you wouldn't like and than I handed it over to Izzy to help Jace with the selection. It was a team effort."

"You all did absolutely amazing. It's perfect." She looked at her hand and than back up at me. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." We took our seat back on the couch but Clary never broke contact. We were touching the whole night and I couldn't wait to start our lives together in the future. After a couple more hours Jon and Clary both had to leave. I kissed her goodbye and when her and Jon pulled out of the driveway I instantly felt a piece of me missing.

 **Clary POV:**

"I can't believe that just happened." I said as I looked back down at my ring.

"You had to know it was coming sis."

"Maybe in like a couple years, but not now." I seriously couldn't stop looking at my ring, it was just so perfect and amazing.

"Trust me, when he asked me I was shocked too, but you guys know you'll be together forever. If you can make it through all of the obstacles you've already been thrown, you guys are going to make it through anything."

"Oh god." I said, and I immediately thought about mom and dad.

"What?"

"Mom and dad are going to freak."

"They'll be fine. You're happy, don't let them ruin tonight." I smiled and nodded as we pulled into our driveway. The lights are on which meant that they were home. I took a deep breath as Jon and I entered the house. They were sitting in the living room and immediately their eyes were on me.

"How was your evening?"

"Great. We had a lot of fun." I said and I instantly started to play with my ring, and my mother noticed.

"What is that?"

"It's an engagement ring." I said and my mother's eyes narrowed.

"I know damn well what it is, why on earth are you wearing it?"

"Well you see mother." Jon stepped in. "When two people love each other, they want to get married and that all starts with a question, which Jace asked Clary tonight and she accepted. It really isn't all that complicated."

"He didn't even ask me." My father finally said.

"No, he asked me. Because he knew that you wouldn't say yes and unlike both of you I want Clary to be happy, and Jace makes her happy. So I gave him my blessing." Jon said as he puffed out his chest.

"That isn't your decision." My father nearly yelled.

"I don't care. It happened."

"I was take away your inheritance if you marry that boy." My mother said and I just laughed.

"I don't care. I don't want money, I want Jace. I would rather be poor with him, than rich without him."

"Clarissa, you are a Morgenstern and I will not allow you to marry a Lightwood."

"Herondale." I corrected

"Excuse me?" My mother said.

"His last name is Herondale. Not Lightwood."

"But how?"

"His parents were killed when he was 8, the Lightwoods adopted him. So, I will be marrying a Herondale."

"Why does that name sound so familiar?" My father asked. He spent the next 5 minutes thinking until you could literally see the light bulb go off in his head. "He must be Stephan's son. We went to school together. He was a good friend of mine back in the day. When he married Celine though we lost touch. I had no idea he was dead."

"Well, when you're so self absorbed it makes it hard to focus on others." I say, my voice filled with malice. I turned away form them and made my way upstairs into my room so that I didn't have to listen to them anymore. I sprawled out on my bed and started examining my ring. And I couldn't get the smile off my face. I was happy, and nothing my parents could say was going to change that.


	13. Chapter 13

**Authors Note:**

 **I am so sorry it took me so long to update! I really didn't know where I wanted to take this story. I was away for a couple weeks, and when I got back I totally lost all the momentum that I had going with this story! I finally got an idea after someone left a review about me doing wither Jocelyn or Valentine's point of view and I actually love where it went! I hope you all like where I took the characters and I hope it adds even more to the story! Any way, I promise that I will update the rest of my stories once I get a kickass idea, just like when this one hit me! Hope you all enjoy this next chapter! :)**

 **Disclaimer- I do not own the movies, and I also made up all those facts about Clary, cause who really knows all of those things! Great movies by the way if you've never seen them, I highly recommend them! Alright, let's get to the story!**

 **Chapter Thirteen**

 **Jocelyn POV:**

After Clary rushed up the stairs, and Jonathan went into the kitchen I looked at Valentine and couldn't help but think that maybe Jonathan was right, were we terrible parents? Were we neglectful towards Clary? Did we allow her to be sexually abused by her uncle? I couldn't shut my brain off until Valentine interrupted my train of thoughts.

"I can't believe she got engaged without my permission. I can't believe she wants to marry that boy." He said and for the first time in many many year, I disagree with him.

"Valentine, I can't blame her for doing those things." I say and his head snaps in my direction.

"What do you mean Jocelyn? She's going to taint the Morgenstern name!"

"I don't think she will. I don't think she ever has."

"What do you mean?" He said in a softer voice. He was a very sweet man, but politics got into his blood and it turned him cold, and I guess in response I turned cold too, and I couldn't help but hate that now.

"How much do we even know about Clary? What's her favorite color? Her favorite movie? Her favorite animal? What is she even studying at school? We don't know our own daughter, and it's all our fault." I said and he sat down next to me and out his arm around me. "We were so caught up in our own work that we completely forgot about her. How do we forget about a child?"

"Jocelyn."

"No Valentine, we have been awful. She tried to kill herself Val, and do you know what we did?" He shook his head. "We told her to never disgrace this family again. We didn't even ask her why she did it, or if she was okay. I mean, I don't even think I've told her I love her. Have you?"

"No. I don't think I have."

"God, we are awful." I said as I buried my head in my hands. "And I've never seen her as happy as she is when she is with that boy. She loves him, she truly truly loves him, and here we are yelling at her for falling in love." We sat in silence for a little before a smile broke out across my face. "Do you remember us falling in love?"

"I do. I knew the instant we went on our first date?"

"Really? It was like the worst first date ever."

"It wasn't that bad."

"Val, we got caught in a horrible blizzard. We never even made it to the restaurant. Your car stalled in the middle of the road and the snow was up to the window. We spent two days in that car!" He laughed, and it was the most genuine laugh I've heard in years.

"But do you remember what we did?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"We cuddled in the back seat for warmth, ate your secret stash of peanut M&M's and played childish games until a police officer finally dug the car out."

"It was the best first date I was ever on, and look at us today. We made something of ourselves."

"Yea, and ruined our kids in the process."

"It's never too late to apologize, and try to start fresh."

"You think they would go for that? I mean, Jonathan is only where he's at today because he wanted to avoid us and Clary tried to kill herself."

"I think they have both wanted a loving family for so long that if we give them a chance to have that, they'll do their best to forgive us."

"You know, Jonathan was wrong." I said and he looked at me with a confused expression. "I do love you. It was never for show."

"I love you too Joce. I always have." He leaned in and kissed me, and for the first time, I felt like we were two poor college kids, just having fun, and enjoying each others company and it felt amazing. "Why don't we have the kids join us and we talk to them."

"Right now?"

"It's now or never." I nodded. "Kids! Family meeting! Right now!" He yelled and I heard the footsteps. Clary and Jonathan sat down in the two chairs in font of the sofa and they looked nervous. It was tense, until Clary broke the silence.

"Look, if this is about Jace and my engagement, I really don't want to hear it. I love him, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. There is nothing you two can say that'll make me change my mind." Clary said and I couldn't help but notice the protectiveness and the love in her voice.

"That's not why we called this family meeting." Valentine said and Clary looked down at her hand and started playing with her ring. "Clary, if you called Jace, do you think he could come over right now?"

"Uh, possibly. Can I know why?"

"I would like to know the boy that my daughter will be marrying." He said and I saw hope flicker in her eye. She nodded, stepped out of the room and returned a minute later.

"He'll be here in 5 minutes." She said and Valentine nodded. Five minutes later Jace was there and Clary led him into the room. He looked nervous.

"Look sir, if this is about not asking your permission, I did ask Jonathan, I wouldn't have asked Clary if I wasn't sure how at least her brother felt about it."

"That's not why you're here."

"It's not? But Clary said you wanted to get to know me…" He said but Valentine cut him off.

"Are you Stephan and Celine's son?" He asked and I could see the question caught him off guard.

"Yes." He said and I could tell he held Clary's hand a little tighter. Clearly this was a sensitive topic.

"Do you mind if I ask what happened?" Jace shook his head.

"My mother died during childbirth, and my father was murdered. How did you know them?"

"Your father and I went to school together. We were actually great friends. When we met Celine and Jocelyn, our paths seemed to stop crossing. But we would keep in touch for a while until maybe a year after Jonathan was born. I had no idea they were dead. I'm so sorry."

"Thank you." Jace said and I could see him relax.

"But we do want to get to know you." I said and Jace, Clary, and Jonathan all looked at me. "We were talking before we called this meeting and we completely agree with Jonathan, on many points. We have been absolutely horrible too you. Both of you. For so long our jobs were who we are, and having a family was always something we wanted, and it helped your fathers career, and after Jonathan was born, it really helped Valentines career, and when we decided that we would have another one I guess I was so caught up in having the perfect family, that I forgot that you were just kids. You wanted to run around in grass stained clothes instead of wearing a dress that you could barely move in. We essentially became robots, and it worked. Clary was difficult but I always thought it was you, not me. I was selfish and I was horrible to you. I can't believe you even gave me the time of day most of the time."

"I wanted you to love me." Clary said and I felt my eyes start to water. "I just wanted to be accepted by my parents. I was always the problem, I was always the disappointment, I was always the outlet of all your stress. I gave up on having parents when I was 13, and I got a small part in the school play. I was so excited because I really wanted to be apart of it, and when I told you about it you both promised to come, but opening night you didn't show. I realized then that I wasn't worth your attention or your time."

"Clary." I started but she cut me off.

"If you're both looking for forgiveness, it might take me years to get to that point. You hurt me. So much, but I think that maybe in time, I can forgive you."

"That's all I ask for Clary." I said with tears in my eyes and I looked at Valentine, and he put his arm around my shoulder and I could tell this confused Clary and Jonathan. I don't think they've ever seen us on relax mode. "The real reason we wanted Jace to come over was because we want to know how well you know our daughter. You are clearly going to marry her, and since you didn't ask us for permission, which I understand, we want to give you a little quiz, and if you pass, we will happily welcome you into our family." I said and I could see how confused but also relieved Clary was.

"Ask away. I think I know Clary pretty well." He said and Valentine and I smiled.

"Alright, we'll start off easy." Valentine started. "What's her favorite color?"

"Green." He said and Clary smiled.

"Do you know why?"

"It makes her think of spring, and spring is her favorite season." He said and we looked at Clary and she nodded.

"What's her favorite animal?" Valentine asks.

"That's a tough one, she always changes it. But for the past couple months it's been bunnies. Every single time we see one she gets really excited and looks at it for about 5 minutes." He says and Clary laughs.

"Oh come on, they are so adorable. How can't they be the cutest thing you've ever seen?" Clary said and Jace just kissed her cheek. They really were a very loving and adorable couple.

"What's her favorite movie?"

"Another tricky one. She has two. The first one is A League of Their Own, and the second one is Air Force One. We watch them at least once a month."

"Why those two Clary?" I ask.

"Well, A League of Their Own has like every emotion you could possibly feel all rolled into one movie. It's just so inspirational, and Air Force One is such a badass movie." She says, and it might be the first time I've seen Clary being herself, and I absolutely love it.

"Next question." Valentine says. "Favorite food?"

"Peanut butter. I know it isn't a food food, but she will literally eat it out of the jar." We all laughed.

"When is her birthday?" Valentine asks.

"August 15th."

"What's her favorite past time?"

"Reading."

"Did she have any pets growing up?"

"No."

"Has she ever broken a bone?"

"No."

"Ever have any surgery?"

"Wisdom teeth."

"What's her biggest fear?"

"Water."

"Really?"

"Yea. She hates the ocean." Valentine simply nods, and continues.

"What's she studying at school?"

"Psychology."

"What's she want to do with it?"

"She's wants to counsel children who have been through traumatic experiences." He says and I can't help but feel like the reason she wants to do that is so that kids don't have to grow up the way she did.

"Okay. Are you in love with my daughter?"

"Absolutely."

"Are you going to hurt her?"

"Never."

"Okay, last one. Do you plan on starting a family after you get married?"

"Dad!" Clary shouts.

"What? I just want to know what his plan is. I mean, are you two sleeping together?"

"Oh my god. We aren't having this conversation right now."

"It's a simple yes or no Clary."

"Dad."

"I'm not letting you leave this room until you answer it, and I just want the truth."

"Yes." She says. "We are, now can we please leave. Jace has to get home." I look out the window and realize that the snow has really picked up.

"I don't think so." I say and everyone looks at me.

"Why not?"

"It's snowing really bad out there. No way are you driving home in that." I get up and open the curtains and Clary groans. "You'll have to spend the night."

"Alright, we're done here." Valentine says. "You seem like a good kid Jace, and I can see the similarities to your father. You remind me so much of him. I assume he won't be sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms, so please, I would appreciate if you keep the noise level down."

"DAD!" Clary shouts and turns beat red, while Jace looks horrified, and Jonathan tries to hid his laughter.

"I'm just kidding. Well, kinda." He says and I can't help but love the fact that the old Valentine was coming back. "We have one last thing we'd like to say before we head to bed."

"This ought to be good." Jonathan mumbles.

"We love you both." Valentines says and they both snap their attention to us.

"What?" They both say in unison.

"Jonathan said something at Thanksgiving about us not loving you, and that wasn't true at all. We do love you. So much. We're sorry we never expressed it towards you both. And I know it'll take awhile for you to forgive us, but I wanted you two to know that we do love you." I said. I looked at Valentine and he grabbed my hand. "And we also love each other Jonathan, we always have, and we always will." Jonathan gave me a smile and a nod before Valentine and I left the room, and I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest. I felt lighter and I was glad that our family was going to start growing in a positive direction. I just hope that this lasts.


	14. Chapter 14

**Authors Note:**

 **Not my longest chapter for this story, but I was going to time jump it but I really wanted to write Clary's reaction to the conversation with her parents, but I didn't have a lot to write about! I do enjoy this short chapter, I find it light hearted but still dealing with the heaviness of this story! I hope you like it! Enjoy! :)**

 **Chapter Fourteen**

 **Clary POV:**

"That was the most embarrassing thing I've ever gone through." I said and Jonathan laughed.

"It wasn't that bad." He said and I glared at him. "What?"

"He asked about our sex life Jon." I said and he laughed again.

"So?"

"So? You're telling me you wouldn't be embarrassed if our parents asked your fiancé about your sex life?" I said and I saw him thinking.

"Good point." He said and he looked at Jace. "At least they approve."

"True. I think I did pretty good." Jace said.

"Pretty good?" Jon said. "I didn't even know half those things about Clary." He said and we laughed. "Alright kids, I'm going to head to bed. I'll see you in the morning." He gave me a hug and clapped Jace on the back before heading up the stairs. Once he was gone I looked back at Jace, he smiled and motioned for me to join him on the chair.

"I love you." He said and I couldn't help but smile.

"I love you too." I say as I kiss him on the lips.

"How are you feeling about everything that happened tonight?" He asks and I sink into his lap.

"Confused." I say. "I never thought they would ever look back and realize how awful they were. I guess what I said to them today got them thinking."

"What did you say?"

"I told them they were too self absorbed to care about other peoples lives. He got mad about the engagement. I guess they had a change of heart."

"What are you going to do with their new change of heart?" He asked and I think about it for a few minutes before I answer.

"I was serious when I said it might take me years to forgive them. For the first 20 years they didn't care about me, I can't just get over that because of one conversation you know? I was molested, I cut myself, hell I tried to kill myself, and they didn't even care. That's going to take a while to forgive."

"I know babe, but they're trying. That's all you can ever ask of them." I nod, and lean my head on his chest. I sigh and get up and reach my hand out. "Let's go to bed." I say and he smirks.

"Or we could test your volume control." He said and I smacked his chest.

"Jace!" I said as I blushed like crazy.

"What? He already assumes we're going to have sex tonight. Might as well live up to his expectations." I grabbed his hand and laughed as I pulled him up the stairs. We walked through my living room and into my room where I shut the door and pushed him into the bathroom. I shut that door and locked it as well. He looked at me with a confused look.

"If we're going to tell my volume control, might has well use the room where it gets hot and steamy." I say as I turn on the shower and start stripping down. His eyes widen before he's undressing and pulling me into the shower.

"You are so on babe." He said as he slammed his lips to mine, and all I can think about is how so right he is.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

 **Time Jump – Three Years Later**

 **Clary POV:**

Jace and I had been planning our wedding for the past two years and I couldn't wait until the day actually arrived. My parents were actually really into the whole planning process. It definitely brought my mom and me closer. She was actually really happy, and we were getting along really well. The date was set, and we had six more months until the big day and I only had one more detail to get done, my dress. I know I know, I waited so long but I was so wrapped up in school the details of the wedding that the dress just slipped my mind.

Today was the day I had my first dress shopping experience and I was terrified. It didn't help that Izzy, and my mom were so into the latest fashion, so I was probably going to try on a bunch of different styles, but what was also intimidating was that I didn't have a budget for my dress. My parents wanted to buy it for me, so now combine the style with the unlimited budget I was doomed with my mother and Izzy. I checked my phone and realized that I had to meet my mother at her house in 25 minutes so I roll out of bed and hop in the shower. Once I get out I pull on my jeans and a sweater and follow the smell of coffee into the kitchen where I find Jace sitting at the counter reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee. I smile and walk over and snake my arms around his waist.

"Good morning." He says and turns around to face me.

"Good morning. You're late this morning." I said and he laughs.

"No. I stayed late last night so my boss said I could come in a little later." He rested his hands on my hips. "What's the plan for today?"

"Dress shopping with my mom, Izzy, and Maryse."

"That sounds fun."

"I think it'll be closer to torture than fun." He laughs and than picks me up and sits me on his lap.

"Why is that?"

"Because Izzy is a nightmare when it comes to clothes, and my mother will probably try to strong arm me into getting a dress she loves, and I don't have a budget. I'm hoping Maryse and I are on the same team, so that I'm not completely alone."

"Maryse wants whatever you want. You know that." He says as he kisses my cheek. I check the clock on the stove and groan.

"I better get going. I have to meet my mom at her house. Are you planning on staying late at work tonight?" He shakes his head. "Anything you want for dinner?"

"Whatever you feel like cooking I'm good with." He says as I get off his lap.

"Alright, I'm praying I'm done by at least 3. But with Izzy and my mother who knows how long it could take." I grab my keys and my purse. Jace walks behind me and we stop in front of his car. "I'll see you tonight." I give him a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too. And remember. This is our wedding. If you find a dress you absolutely love, who cares what anyone else thinks. Get what you feel the most beautiful and the most confident in."

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" I said as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I think the better question is what did I ever do to deserve you?" He said and I stood up on my tippy toes and kissed him.

"I think he deserve each other." I said and he nodded. "Alright, I'll see you later. Love you."

"Love you too." He said and we both got in our cars and went on our way.

I got to my moms house and when I walked in I could hear talking coming from the kitchen. When I walked in I saw Izzy and my mom huddled around the kitchen table. I should have known they would have been in contact before dress shopping even started to get their plan of attack ready.

"Are you two ready?" I said and they both jumped. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

"Nonsense Clary, we were just looking over some dresses. But our appointment is in" She looked at her phone. "20 minutes, so we better get going. Izzy is your mom going to meet us there?"

"Yes, she had some things to do before the appointment."

"Excellent. Lets get going!" My mom announced and we piled into her car and were off to the appointment.

When I got there, Izzy and my mom started talking the ear off of the woman who was going to help us for the day. After about 15 minutes of their none stop chatting, I got up and told them that I had to be brought back to the fitting room and they finally shut up and the woman brought me back. When we got into the room I let out a deep breath and took a seat and she followed.

"They are very excited about your big day." She said and I gave her a small smile. "You don't seem so excited though."

"I didn't want a big wedding. But the guest list is almost three hundred people."

"Wow. That's insane."

"Yea. It's taken a while to plan this wedding."

"How long?"

"We got engaged almost four years ago."

"Wow. Can you tell me a little about him?" She said and I think I smiled a little too big because I knew she could see the instant change in my attitude when she brought Jace up.

"We met in high school. We didn't go to the same one, but I always threw an annual back to school party, and him and his siblings always came. After that we would meet up or talk every couple months. He was actually my only real friend." I said and I started playing with my engagement ring. "I haven't always had the best life. For one, my family was always in the spot light because of who my parents are and who my brother is. I wasn't in a good place senior year of high school and I tried to take my own life." I said and she gasped. "Jace came to see me after everything went down and I ended up telling him everything about my past, and he listened, and he never judged me, and he was there so comfort me in my weakest moment. Right before we started at NYU we got together, and we've been together ever since. I couldn't imagine my life without him."

"Wow. That's quite a story. So, I know how your mom and best friend want you to look like on your wedding day, but how would you like to look? Or does your fiancé have a preference?"

"He told me to get whatever dress made me feel the most beautiful and the most confident."

"Good man. So do you have any style you'd like to try on more than another?"

"I've never been a fan of mermaid style dresses, but I'd be willing to try on any other style dress. I don't really know what looks good on me, so I'm pretty open."

"Alright, I'm going to go grab some dresses, and I'll be back." She said and she left the room. I stripped down and got into the robe that they provided and maybe 10 minutes later she was back. "Alright, so I got some ballroom, trumpet, and fit and flare styles. I also got some strapless, cap sleeve, full sleeve, quarter sleeve, and thick and thin strap style dresses. So we have a little bit of everything in here, so lets get started."

She put me in the first dress, and I absolutely hated it. I didn't even want to show it to my family, so I took it off and moved onto the next one. After the first 4 dresses were an absolute no, I put on the fifth one and it was too bad. It was a ball gown that had lace details on the sweetheart neckline. It was pretty, and I decided that it was alright to show my mom, Izzy and Maryse. When I walked out into their view they all gasped. But I don't think it had anything to do with the dress, but the fact that I actually looked like a bride. I got in front of them and exhaled.

"So? How does it look?" I said and I could see everyone thinking.

"It's a pretty dress." My mom said, and I thought I'd just cut her off right there. I knew she was trying to spare my feelings.

"But not the right one for me." I said and everyone let out a breath of relief.

"Yes. I think it's too plain for you." I nod and we make our way back into the room and take it off.

The next three hours are me trying on dresses, and feeling pretty but not beautiful. At one point I got so frustrated I stormed away from my family and went back into the room and sat down in the dress and put my head in my hands. A few moments later there was a knock on the door and a felt a hand rest on my knee and when I looked up Maryse was sitting next to me.

"What's wrong sweetie?" She asked and I sat up.

"I feel like I'll never find a dress. I don't feel beautiful in anything I've put on, and I know my mom and Izzy want me to look a certain way, but I just I don't know what I want."

"Have you talked to Jace about it?"

"He told me to get whatever I felt beautiful and confident in, but I just I don't think that dress exists." I look at her and she smiles.

"You know, I thought the same way when I was looking for my wedding dress. I felt like none of the dresses I tried on were the right one. I kept thinking about Robert's reaction. I was trying to find a dress that he would like, and it totally backfired because I was so busy looking for him that I didn't look for myself."

"What happened?"

"I ended up getting a dress that I liked, and it looked pretty but it wasn't the one for me. And Robert knew that. He could see it on my face."

"What did he say?"

"He told me that it didn't matter how he felt on our wedding day, it mattered how I felt. I deserved to feel like royalty, and like I was the most beautiful person in the room. And I didn't. I felt average. And that's not how someone should feel on their wedding day. I know Izzy can be manipulative when it comes to fashion, and I know your mother wants things done a certain way, but this is your day. This day is joining you and Jace, and I know you want to look good for him, but sweetie, he would think you were the most gorgeous girl in the room if you were wearing a potato sac." I couldn't help but laugh as I brushed some stray tears away. "You can stop for the day, there will always be tomorrow." She said and I starred at the five other dresses that hung on the rack.

"I think I'll try on these last five dresses, and see how I feel after that." I said and she stood up and kissed me on the forehead. She smiled and than exited the room before the woman walked back in.

"Are you okay?"

"Just a little overwhelmed. But I want to try these five last dresses on." I said and she smiled and helped me out of the dress I was in and put me in another. The first three were failures, and I was getting really discouraged until I saw her face light up. "What?"

"I think I just thought of the perfect dress for you. Can you hold on for five minutes?" She said and I nodded and she rushed out the door. Sure enough, five minutes later she rushed back into the room. She had the biggest smile on her face and she made me turn around and get changed. After I was in the dress and zipped up, she let me turn around and I was speechless. She had put me in a ball gown, but it wasn't super poufy. It was silk, with a sweetheart neckline and ruching all across the top. It was a high waist and strapless, and it had pockets! It was absolutely beautiful, and it made me feel like I was worth a million dollars. I turned around and hugged her. I nearly skipped out of the dressing room and out to my family. When I walked out I heard gasps and when I turned around I saw that my mom was crying, Izzy was smiling from ear to ear and Maryse was nodding in approval towards me.

"So, what do you think?" I asked and it took a moment but my mom finally spoke up.

"My baby is getting married!" She yelled and stood up and hugged me. Izzy was next followed by Maryse.

"Alright, lets get you jacked up." The woman said and she put a veil on me and a jeweled waist band to give it a little something extra. When I saw my self in the mirror I started to cry.

"This is actually happening. I'm getting married in six months." I said and everyone pulled me into a group hug. When we broke apart I looked at the woman and smiled. "I think I found my dress." Everyone cheered and I couldn't help but smile and feel so much happiness despite how frustrated I was during this appointment. All of the details were finally complete and now all I had to do was wait for the wedding date to arrive and I couldn't help but smile and look forward to that day and all the joy it would bring.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

 **Time Jump – Wedding Day**

 **Clary POV:**

I was staring in the mirror and I couldn't believe who was staring back. I hardly recognized me. I looked completely different. My hair was curled to perfection, and my make up was light and natural except for my red lips. The dress was absolutely amazing, and I was so happy that I had found it that day. I was pulled out of my head when I heard the door open. I looked behind me to see Izzy. She looked absolutely stunning in her gold dress, but Izzy could pull off anything, and I slightly hated her for being so flawless.

"You look stunning Clary." She said and I smiled.

"So do you." I said and she scoffed.

"Please, you look like you belong in the royal family in that dress. It's absolutely perfect." She said and I couldn't help but smile. I turned back around to the mirror and smiled.

"It's almost time, are you ready?" She asked and I smiled and nodded. We walked to the entrance of the ceremony space and Izzy handed me my bouquet. I took a deep breath, and suddenly my father was at my side. He smiled down and me and I smiled back.

"Before we go through with this Clary I just wanted to say that I am so proud of the woman that you've become. I know I wasn't the father you wanted for so many years, and I'm still trying to make up for that, but I love you. And I want you to know that over the past couple years I feel like I've really gotten to know you, and you are the definition of a perfect daughter and I'm so sorry I didn't realize that sooner." He said and tears threatened to spill out of my eyes but I didn't want to ruin my make up before the ceremony. He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. "Alright, lets go make that man my son." He said and I couldn't help but laugh. The fact that him and Jace have formed a relationship over the past couple years was honestly the most amazing thing I could have ever asked for. I wrapped my arm around his and the doors opened. I took a deep breath and when my eyes locked with Jace's I couldn't wait to become his wife.

When I got to the alter I handed Izzy my bouquet and I turned back to Jace who had the biggest smile on his face. I couldn't help but stare at him and before I knew it he was kissing me. I was shocked but smiled at kissed him back. I heard the congregation laugh and we pulled apart.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself." Jace said which caused more laughs. We held hand and turned to the priest and he began to speak. Honestly I didn't hear anything he was saying, I was too busy focused on Jace. He looked absolutely amazing, and I couldn't help but smile at the fact that he was going to be my husband soon.

"Jace, would you like to recite your vows?" the priest asked and Jace smiled at looked at me.

"Clary, from the moment I met you, I knew there was something different about you. You intrigued me, and you fascinated me. After we started to get to know each other I couldn't stat away. I constantly thought about you, and I constantly wanted to be around you. I knew from very early on that I loved you, and that I wanted to make you mine. We've been through everything together and I couldn't imagine doing it with anyone else. I love you more than anything and I'm so thankful that we made it to this point. I promise to love you for the rest of our lives, and I promise to cherish you and treat you like the queen that you are, and to give you the best like possible." He said and I couldn't stop the tears this time. He wiped them away and I took a deep breath before I started my vows.

"I never knew what it felt like to be loved." I started off and out of the corner of my eye I saw my parents facial expression turn to sadness, but I wasn't going to start off my marriage lying about how I felt. "I was always being used because of who my parents were, and who my brother was. There wasn't a single person in my life who wanted me because of who I was as a person. But the day we official met, everything changed. You were the first person who took a genuine interest in my feelings and cared when I had a bad day, or when I was crying, or pissed. You were always there to make me feel better. You made sure that I left where ever we were with a smile on my face, and I can't thank you enough for that because you were the reason that I kept going most days." I took a deep breath and he squeezed my hands a little tighter. I looked up at his golden eyes and smiled. "For the longest time I wasn't in the greatest place. I was drowning in loneliness, and nobody seemed to care. And when you came along and showed me that you cared, and that you loved me for exactly who I was, scars and all, I was shocked. It wasn't hard to fall in love with you. It came as naturally as breathing. We have been through a lot of situations that most couples never have to face, but we've always come out stronger on the other end. You are my world, and I can't even begin to imagine what life would be like without you. I love you Jace, and I will love you for the rest of my life, and if there is a life after that I will love you than too." I said and he had the biggest smile on his face. He wiped the rest of the stray tears on my face and I smiled.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Jace put his hands on either side of my face and pulled my face to his. I stood up on my tippy toes and wrapped my arms around his neck. I heard the applause from the background but I was so focused on Jace that it all seemed to melt away, and there was nothing but Jace and I, and I couldn't wait to finally start our lives together as husband and wife.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

 **Time Jump – One And A Half Years Later**

 **Clary POV:**

The past year has been a roller coaster. Jace and I were doing amazing, married life was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced and to think that I could have missed out on this opportunity was really an eye opener. I can't believe that I was ever in that place, and that if I was successful that I wouldn't have this life, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now. About 4 months ago we welcomed our first born into the world. She was the light of our lives; always smiling, and giggling. She was a total daddy's girl, and I loved her more than anything in this world. I don't know how my parents never told me they loved me, I tell her at least 30 times a day.

I had a couple appointments today, and I feel like I'm really making a difference with these kids. They are either experiencing what I did, or they have experienced it, or they are finally ready to talk about it. I feel like I am having a positive impact on their lives and there isn't anything else in the world that I want to be doing.

When I got to the office I looked over the files that were dropped off on my desk and realized that I had a new client today, she was a 15 year old girl, and her name was Madison. I looked over at the clock and noticed it was 10:30 am, and it was time for Madison's session. I walked out into the waiting room and called her name. A girl with jet black hair, a tone of piercings, dark black make up and a very discontent look on her face stood up. I mentally prepared for her to be very defensive and not forthcoming with any information but I was going to do my best. We walked back to my office and she took a seat on the couch, and I sat across from her. After a moment I decided to talk.

"Good morning Madison, how are you?" I asked and she looked into my eyes and I could see the emptiness in them.

"I'm fine." She said and I took a deep breath.

"My name is Dr. Herondale, but you can call me Clary." She nodded but didn't speak. "Want to tell me a little bit about yourself?"

"Not much to tell." She said as she avoided my gaze.

"Madison, this session is going to be hard if you don't open up." I said and she let out a dry laugh.

"Why should I talk to you? You're a stranger."

"What if I told you a little bit about myself? Than we won't be strangers." She shrugged and I put my notebook down and took my heels off and relaxed. "Well, like I said before my name is Clary. I married my high school sweetheart in a sense, we just had a baby actually. Her name is Danni, and she's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I went to college at NYU, I went to Idris Area High school." I noticed the way her body shifted; I guess that was something we had in common. "I have an older brother, and when I was a teenager my escape was skateboarding."

"What do you mean high school sweetheart in a sense?" She asked, and it wasn't the response I was looking for but it was something.

"We met in high school, but we didn't start dating until we graduated." I said and she nodded. "What about you? Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No. I don't think any boy would be interested in me anyway."

"Why not?"

"I'm not tall, blonde, and I don't have big boobs." I nodded, I knew how that felt. Feeling so insecure about your appearance.

"I know the feeling. I never thought that I was ever going to find a guy who was interested in me. The guys I dated always wanted something from me."

"What do you mean?"

"My brother is in the NFL, my father is the governor of New York, and my mother is a famous painter. Coming across people who wanted to know me for me was hard."

"You're like an idol at my school. You have a wall dedicated to you in the main hallway." She said and I laughed.

"Yea, that's what having a famous family does to you." She nodded and I decided that I needed to ask why she was here. "Madison, would you like to tell me why you're here?"

"My mom thought I needed to talk to someone. She thinks I'm depressed."

"Are you?"

"Isn't that our job?"

"My job is to be a pair of ears that'll listen to your problems, and maybe some of your problems I can relate to and help you through them by sharing my own experiences and what helped me."

"I doubt we have the same issues."

"Why do you say that?" I ask and I know what she's thinking, I come from a wealthy family, and I have the perfect life.

"Please, we are from two different social classes. You grew up taking vacations to Paris, and probably driving an expensive car. You lived in a mansion, and you probably never have to work a day in your life. Your husband is probably a rich boy who drives a jag and wears expensive suits, and you probably have a personal chef, and I live in a run down neighborhood where I see drug deals happen every day. I have to take public transportation, and my parents have to work twice as hard as you do to afford anything." She said and I could tell that her family situation was probably one of her main reasons for her discontent. Something was wrong there, and I was going to find out what, but for now I wanted to build her trust.

"Is that how you really feel?" She nods and I laugh. She looks up at me with a angry expression. "You couldn't be more wrong about my life."

"What?"

"What you just described was not how my life played out at all." I said and she looked confused. "Yes, I lived in a big house, I had a chef, and my parents made sure I had the most expensive car, and the most expensive and in style wardrobe, but I was miserable. My parents never had time for me. They were constantly working, leaving me alone with the chef, or passing me off to a family member. You wanna know the first time my mom told me she loved me? I was 20. It took my own mother 20 years to tell me she loved me. My husband, he never knew his mother, she died giving birth, and his father was murdered right in front of him when he was 10. He was adopted into a wonderful family that was already struggling. They lost their home, and could barely afford their own three kids, but still took him in."

"I didn't know." She said and I looked at her.

"I know, how could you? Everything you see in that school about me is a lie. I was depressed. I cut myself, and burned myself, starved myself, I tried to kill myself senior year of high school." She gasped.

"Why?"

"My uncle molested me for four years. He would kiss me, and touch me, and rub me and my parents never knew. He would threaten me if I ever thought about telling. I lived a loveless, and a horrible life." I said and I could see tears well in her eyes. "I didn't tell you this for you to feel sorry for me. I want you to know that I know what it feels like to have the world, yet still have absolutely nothing. You thought you knew me, yet you didn't know the first thing about me. You knew the rumors, and the information that was allowed into the public. I'm on your side Madison, I want to help you. That's why I decided to study this in school. I want to make sure that I make a difference in peoples lives. I know you're hiding something, and I know you're struggling. I can see it." I look at the time and realize our session is almost up. "I don't care how long it takes you to open up to me, but I'm here for you."

"Everything I tell you is confidential right?" She asks and I can see the worry in her eyes.

"Unless I feel like you are a danger to yourself or society, everything you tell me is confidential." She looks nervous. "Madison, I'm not like other therapists. I have a very different spectrum of what I consider a danger to yourself and society. I promise, I'm here to help you. In any way I can. If you want to move our sessions to a different location that's more comfortable for you, we can do that, if you want to have longer session less frequently, we can arrange that, or shorter sessions more frequently, just tell me what you need from me Madison."

"It's my father." She says and I stay silent hoping she continues. "He isn't the nicest guy around. When he drinks, he gets violent. My mom doesn't think he has a problem, but he doesn't abuse her. Most of his anger is towards me."

"Physical, verbal, emotional?"

"Mostly verbal, but he's gotten physical." She said but I could tell she was also holding something else back, but I wasn't going to push her now.

"Does your mom know?"

"No, she works so much she's barely home." She said and I nodded. "Do you think we could move our next session somewhere that isn't so clinical? I feel like there is something wrong with me because I come here." I laughed and nodded.

"Where would you like to go?" I asked and I could see her thinking about it.

"Somewhere safe." She said and I was thinking of a bunch of different places but some were too crowded, others weren't really easily accessible, and if she has to use public transportation to get there it wouldn't work, and than an idea hit me.

"How about my house?" I said and I could see the surprise in her expression.

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, I have an office there, and during our sessions my husband can take our daughter out so we can be alone."

"Okay." She said and I started to scribble down my address.

"This is my address, and meet here at 11, Thursday next week." I said and she nodded and got up.

"Thanks Clary. For being willing to listen and not judge."

"It's my pleasure Madison. I'll see you Thursday." I said and she nodded before exiting my office.

The rest of the day went by rather quickly but I couldn't stop thinking about Madison. Something was off, and I knew she was holding something big in and I wanted her to tell me so we could start to work through it but I wasn't going to push her and I hope she wants to continue our sessions until she is comfortable enough to talk about it.

I finally finished all my appointments today and headed home. I couldn't wait to see my baby. I missed her when I had to go back to work, and thankfully Jace has the luxury of being able to work from home so he can take care of her while I work, but I missed her chubby little cheeks and her cute little giggles. When I walked into my house I followed those cute little giggles that I missed so much and found them sitting on the couch while Jace tickled her belly. I walked over and sat down next to them and Jace looked up and gave me a kiss on the cheek and than he looked at me and I think he could tell something was wrong.

"What's got you thinking so hard?" He asked and I laughed. I grabbed Danni and I gave her a big kiss and hugged her.

"I got a new client today, and I can just tell she's holding something big back, and I want her to be able to trust me, because I want to help her but she's so stubborn." I say and he laughs. "What's so funny?"

"It must be so hard to reason with a stubborn person." He says and I know he's talking about me now. "How ever will you survive?"

"I am so sorry if I'm like that. It's so hard to communicate."

"That it is, but we figured it out over the years." He says and I lean back and he puts his arm around my shoulders.

"Our next session is here. She wanted to meet somewhere safe that didn't feel so clinical." He laughed. "Our session is on Thursday at 11, so you can have a nice little daddy daughter date for about an hour."

"Sounds good. And don't worry Clare, you will get through to her. If there is anyone in this world who understands a traumatic experience, its you. I know you can help her, and you are very easy to open up too, she'll come around." He said as he kissed my temple. Danni looked up at me and started to giggle and I couldn't help but smile.

Helping people is all I've ever wanted to do since my life took a turn for the worst. I wanted to help those who thought they were all alone in the world, and I know Madison feels that way, and if I can't help her, I don't know who is and I can't help but feel like I could really be a positive influence for Madison, but in the end it was totally up to her, and I had to accept that sometimes I can't help everyone, but I damn sure was going to try.

 **Authors Note:**

 **So, this chapter took an interesting turn, but I actually really love where it went. I know you all might think that this is a filler but it isn't. Madison will actually be really important to Clary and her family later. Although I am planning on ending this story in a couple chapters, those chapters will be longer than normal because I do want it to be a complete story. I wanted this chapter to show how far Clary has come and I think I did that, and I also wanted to give you all some insight to her job. Mostly I wanted to show that you can help someone through a traumatic event, and I thought that adding Madison and her story was a great way for Clary to show that! Let me know what you all think, and I hope you enjoy it! :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Authors Note:**

 **So, please don't rip me a new one for the way her therapy session went. I know it would never happen that way, I mean, I never got that close to my therapists, but this is fiction! So I can do whatever I want! Any way, please let me know how you like this chapter, and I promise that I will update my other stories and get your one shots done when I can. It's the third day of classes and I'm already swamped! :)**

 **Chapter Eighteen**

 **Time Jump – Home Therapy Session**

 **Clary POV:**

Jace and Danni had just left for their daddy daughter date, and I was a little nervous for this session. I wanted to help her so badly, but that was only going to happen if she opened up to me, and I was scared she wasn't going to. When 11 rolled around there was a knock on the door, and when I opened it Madison was standing there in her black attire. I ushered her inside and she started looking around the house. She was looking at the pictures on the walls of Jace, and Danni, and I and she looked like he had never seen a family before.

"This your husband?" She asked and I nodded. "He's hot." She said and I laughed.

"Yea he is. The most gorgeous man I've ever met, and somehow he picked me." I said and I smiled at her.

"You're daughter is cute too."

"I hope she takes after my husband. She's bald right now, but I hope she has his blonde hair." I said and I motioned for her to follow me. "My office is right through those doors. Would you like something to drink?"

"Can I have some coffee?" She asked.

"How would you like it?"

"Black." She said and I smiled. Just like me. I went to the kitchen a brewed a pot of coffee and filled two cups up. When I got back to the office she was looking at the pictures I had hung around the room. When I put her coffee down and sat down on the couch.

"How was your day?"

"It was alright. I was only in school for about 2 hours before I had to leave to come here."

"How do you like school?"

"It's alright. I don't have many friends, so I just go along with the school day."

"What are you interested in? Favorite subjects? Least favorite subjects?"

"I'm really into law. I think the system is shit, and I'd like to try and change that."

"That's a great goal."

"Nobody believes in me."

"I doubt that."

"My teachers have all said it. I don't speak up in class, and I try to make myself invisible so that nobody will try and befriend me."

"Why?"

"It's easier to be alone than to have people to rely on that will eventually let me down."

"You don't know they will do that."

"Yes I do. Everyone lets me down."

"Like who?"

"My father, every time he beats me, my mom every time she believes him over me, my sister who thinks she is god gift to this earth, and my….." She started but she cut herself off.

"Who else Madison?" I asked and she shook her head. She clearly wasn't able to talk about it. "Okay, you said you have a sister?" I asked and she nodded. "Tell me a little bit about her."

"Her name is Darcie." She said with a lot of venom in her voice. "She is 5 years older than me. Always got straight A's, played 3 different sports, and was homecoming queen at our high school. Everyone loved her, and I was just the disappointment." She said and I knew exactly how she felt.

"I know how that feels." I say and she looks at me. "My parents felt the exact same about me. They wanted me to be exactly like my brother. I understand how that feels."

"How did you deal with it?"

"I didn't. You know my history." I said and she took a sip of her coffee. "Do you self harm?" She simply nodded her head. "What are your methods?"

"I cut, and sometimes burn myself."

"Have you ever tried to take your own life?" I asked and she nodded. "When?"

"I was 15. My father came home one night trashed, and she wasn't happy with me. He beat me bloody that night. The next day I went to school, and people were whispering about me, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I jumped off a bridge on my way home from school."

"What happened?"

"Someone guy in a boat saw me, and he dove in and gave me CPR until I was breathing again."

"How did you feel about that?"

"I was angry. He had no right to do that, but he was just trying to do the right thing. Once I realized that, I gave up being angry. There was no use for it."

"Do you wish you were dead?"

"No. Things have gotten better in the last couple years, but not by much."

"How have they gotten better?"

"My father got a better job and it forced him to quit drinking. Just like my mom though he works all the time. My sister got a job in Japan, and her and her husband moved out there a couple years ago. Haven't seen or spoken to her since. It's just me now."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Lonely."

"So, why can't you fill that void with friends?"

"I guess I don't want to be vulnerable to someone else."

"Sometimes people can surprise you. My husband did."

"How so?"

"Let's just say, he was kinda a player." I said and she laughed.

"Well, with his looks, that's not surprising." She said and I smiled.

"Yea, and we didn't go to the same school but all the girls would practically drool over him. I knew his reputation, and I was skeptical of him, but when it came to me he was nothing but sweet, and encouraging. He was nothing like I imagined, and he was easy to talk too. I opened up, and he listened without judgment. He truly saved my life." I said and I smiled. I couldn't help it when it came to Jace. He just made me so happy.

"But what if there isn't anybody out there like that for me?"

"It doesn't have to be a romantic relationship. Jace and I started out as acquaintances. We talked, and than went months without communicating or seeing each other. It evolved to us being friends, and than it grew. It can be that simple Madison." I said and she just kept drinking her coffee. "If I'm the only one you talk to, that's okay, but I think having someone who is your age, and you can trust would be beneficial." I said and she nodded. We heard the door opened followed by a fit of giggles and I looked at the clock and noticed we were about 25 minutes over our session. Madison and I got up and made our way out into the living room where Jace and Danni were.

"I'm sorry. I thought your session would be over by now." Jace said and I smiled as I made my way over to him and grabbed Danni.

"No problem. We lost track of time. How was the date?"

"Perfect, but I had an amazing date, so I expected nothing less." He said and he kissed Danni's cheek. I looked back at Madison and she looked fairly awkward.

"Madison, this is my husband Jace and our daughter Danni. Jace this is Madison, my newest client." I said and she waved.

"It's a pleasure meeting you Madison, I was going to make some lunch, would you like to stay?" He asked and I smiled.

"I don't know. Isn't that like conflict of interest? Me eating lunch with my therapist and her family?"

"I'm not your therapist anymore. Our session ended 25 minutes ago. Right now, I'm just a friend offering another friend some lunch." I said and she smiled. The first genuine smile I've seen from her since we met, and I was planning on making sure that became more frequent.

She nodded and Jace headed for the kitchen while we stayed in the living room. I put Danni down and she was playing with her various toys while I put on the TV. Madison was very good with kids, and she was smiling a lot more. I was getting farther in just sitting around playing my with daughter about what truly made her happy, and I was enjoying watching Madison open up a little bit, and now I knew what kind of sessions would be beneficial for her. This might be challenging, but I knew that I was getting somewhere with her, and I was planning on getting everything out of her and making sure she was helped in any way that I could give her. That was a promise.


	19. Chapter 19

**Authors Note:**

 **So, I want you all to know that if you don't like the whole plot line with Madison I'm sorry, but I think her role in the story is pretty important. I really like this chapter and I hope you all do too! Let me know what you think! :)**

 **Chapter Nineteen**

 **Time Jump – One Year Later**

 **Clary POV:**

This past year has been eye opening to say the least. I've become more than just Madison's therapist, I've become her mentor in a way. She came to my house every Thursday for our sessions, and afterwards she stay for a little to play with Danni. She was more herself when she was with kids than she was when she was alone. It was nice to see her smiling and laughing and not worrying about all her problems, even if it was just for an hour or two. We had a session today, and she has been making so much progress that I didn't know how much more therapy she would need. I was currently six months pregnant, so our sessions have been very chill. I normally was in sweats and Jace's tee shirt, which actually made the session feel more like a nice chat than an appointment. The doorbell rang and when I opened it Madison was standing there with a smile on her face. I motioned for her to come in and she walked straight to my office. I got her a cup of coffee and got myself some apple juice.

"How was your day?"

"It was good. How are you and the baby doing?" She asked and I rubbed my belly.

"We're good. We just found out the gender the other day."

"And?" She smiled.

"It's another girl. I know Jace really wanted a son, but he absolutely loved having a girl, so he's still just as excited." I said and she smiled. "So, anything new in your life since the last time we met?" I asked and she blushed. Like actually blushed. "Did little Madison meet a boy?"

"First of all I'm not little. I'm 18, and second of all, what if I did?" She said and I squealed a little.

"Tell me everything!" I said and she laughed.

"His name is Ryan, and we met in our biology class. He just transferred to our school this year."

"What does he look like?"

"He's tall, he has light brown hair, and he has hazel eyes. He's tall, and skinny, but he's toned. We like the same music, and some of the same hobbies."

"How long have you two been friends?"

"We were partnered up at the beginning of the year in bio, but maybe a month ago I saw him sitting by the big oak tree at school by himself so I decided to take a chance and talk to him outside of bio."

"That's a huge step."

"I know. Over the past year I've been thinking about what we've talked about. Putting myself out there and possibly making friends, and since we talked in bio I figured it wouldn't be as awkward as talking to a stranger."

"And you've been friends ever since?" I ask and she nods.

"We sit together at lunch and talk about anything and everything. We've hung out a few times outside of school, and he asked me out yesterday." She said and I couldn't help but smile.

"That's great Madison. Are you excited? Nervous? Scared?"

"I think a little bit of everything. I'm excited because well this is my first date, and that also makes me nervous, but I'm scared he'll see my scars and not like me anymore."

"Don't judge a book my its cover." I said and she nods.

"I just don't want to scare him off. What if he can't handle my past?"

"Than he isn't the guy for you. The person that you'll end up with will take you and everything you've been through and accept it. If Ryan can't do that, you will find someone who can." I said and I looked at the clock. "Alright, our time is up for today, and I have an appointment at 12:30, so I will see you next week. Let me know how the date goes!" I said and she nods. We both get up and I lead her to the door, we hug and she walks out and gets into her car and leaves. I smile and shut the door. I was getting somewhere with her, and I could see the positive impact these sessions were doing for her, and that's all I've ever wanted to do for people, and actually seeing the progress was extremely satisfying.

 **Time Jump – Three Days Later**

 **Clary POV:**

I haven't been sleeping well due to how much my daughter kicks, and I was rolling over to get more comfortable when there was a panicked knocking on our front door. I looked over at Jace who was dead to the world so I got out of bed and walked downstairs. When I opened the door I saw a random boy holding a frantic and bloody Madison.

"Jace!" I screamed and I heard running down the stairs. He came over to me and took in the scene. "Grab her and take her to the couch." I said and Jace picked Madison up and took her away while I got the boy inside. "Who are you?"

"I'm Ryan." He says and I nod. He was soaking wet, and he looked absolutely confused.

"Hi Ryan, I'm Clary." I said and he nodded. "Let me grab you some dry clothes and I'll put your in the dryer so you aren't sitting around in wet clothes." He nods and goes into the bathroom. I hand him the clothes and go to check on Madison. When I get to the living room she is passed out on the couch while Jace is cleaning up the blood. I walk over and start helping when Ryan walks in. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"I was dropping her off after our date. It lasted a lot longer than we both anticipated but we just lost track of time. We were both have a great evening. I dropped her off and realized that she forgot her jacket in my car. I went back to her house and when I got to the door I heard screaming. I knocked but no one answered. I looked in the window and I saw her father punch her. I didn't know what to do so I broke the window and went in. She was on the floor barely conscious and I slammed her dad against the wall and he passed out. Her mother was just sitting in the living room allowing it to happen. I grabbed her and her first words were Clary, and I went into her phone to find your information. I found your address and came straight here." I nod and he sits down in the chair across from her. He looked worried sick. "Are you her aunt or something?"

"I'm her therapist." I said and he looked surprised.

"I didn't know she was seeing a therapist."

"She's been coming to me for a little over a year."

"I'm guessing because of her father?" He says and I nod. "Will she be okay?"

"I think so." Jace says. "She hit her head, which is why she passed out. Hopefully she wakes up soon. She might have some bruised ribs too." Jace continued to clean off the blood when we heard Danni start to cry. "I'll get her, you keep cleaning. Could you help her?" Jace asks Ryan and he nods and comes to help me while Jace heads upstairs.

"She's a fighter Ryan, she'll be okay, but she's going to need you." I said and he smiled. "You really like her don't you?"

"I do. I get coming from a rough past. My father wasn't the nicest guy around." He said and it was so hard to turn the therapist off I just had to ask.

"What happened?"

"He cheated on my mom like every other night. He constantly came home smelling like cheap perfume and when my mom would ask he'd hit her. And at one point it didn't bother her anymore, and he turned to me. He found out it hurt her more when she saw me getting hit and it made my father so happy."

"What happened to your dad?" I asked and he took a deep breath and looked at me.

"I stabbed him." He said and my eyes widened. "One night he was beating my mom so badly, and she nearly died. I wanted to stop him and I grabbed a knife to scare him. He corned me, and started choking me. I didn't know what else to do, so I stabbed him. I called 911 immediately after, and when they were accessing the scene they ruled it self defense and he was sent to jail. He's currently serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole."

"When did this happen?"

"A year an a half ago. That's why we moved. My mom couldn't stand being in the same state as him. This was the farthest place she could find. At first I was annoyed. He was in jail, so who cared what state we were in you know? I was going to be senior; she couldn't have waited the rest of the year? But she wanted to move, and it's not like I had friends back home that I was going to miss, and I met Madison here, so I'm grateful that we moved."

"She's lucky to have you. When she first came to me I told her that I had a similar past as her, and that the only person I could count on was my husband, and she was convinced that there was nobody out there who would take the time to listen and get to know her. Something changed when she met you, I could see it in our sessions. She smiled more, and she seemed lighter."

"I've never met anyone life her before." He said as he smiled down on her, and she ran his fingers through her hair. "She makes me happy, and she makes me feel whole. If that makes sense." He said and I nodded. Pretty soon I could see Madison's eyes fluttering and not long after they opened. She tried to sit up but her head hurt too much. Ryan sat behind her and let her lean into his chest. I smiled at the cute interactions between them. I've seen her smile, but I've never seen her so content as she looks right now.

"What happened?" She asked.

"After your date Ryan noticed you left your jacket in the car, he went to go return it to you and saw your dad hitting you." I said and she immediately tensed. Ryan started rubbing her arm and she relaxed a little. "He broke your window and slammed your father against the wall and brought you here."

"You saw that?" She asked him and he nodded. He leaned down and pressed his lips to her temple. "I'm so sorry you had to do and see all of that."

"You don't have to apologize to me for your father being an asshole. I've dealt with abusive fathers before. I just didn't want him to hurt you anymore." Ryan said and I could just see that it meant the world to her.

"I'm going to go grab some clothes for you Madison, and throw those in the dryer with Ryan's. I'll be right back." They both nodded and I made my way to my room to give them a little privacy.

 **Madison POV:**

After Clary left it was just Ryan and I. I thought it would be awkward after how the evening went but it was actually very calming to be in his arms and in the comfortable silence.

"Why didn't you tell me about your father?" He said and I sighed.

"I really like you, and I didn't want to scare you off by telling you how terrible I'm treated at home. I wanted you to like me for me, and not just pity me." I said and he sat up and turned me so that we were facing each other.

"I don't want you to be afraid of telling me something. I want to be the person you can be completely and totally open with. I know you already have Clary, but I want to be that for you. I want to be the person you can trust with absolutely anything you need to share." He said and I took a deep breath.

"There is one thing that I haven't been able to tell Clary. Every time I think I'm ready, I always chicken out."

"And you want to tell me?"

"If we are going to have a relationship, we can't have secrets, and this one effects me on a daily basis, and if I'm acting weird, or distant or moody, I want you to know why, I don't want you to have to sit and think about what's wrong with me."

"Are you sure? Cause you can tell me whenever you're ready." He says and I can't help but feel like this is the moment I'm ready to talk. I've kept quiet for far too long, and I need to verbalize this otherwise I'll never start grieving, and rebuilding myself.

"When I was 14, I was walking home from school. My mom worked too much, and my father was a drunk so they couldn't pick me up and the school bus didn't run that late. I was almost at my house when I felt like I was being followed. I looked behind me but I didn't see anyone so I kept walking. I had turned onto my street and I was grabbed from behind and stuffed in a van." I said and he grabbed my hands and started rubbing circles on the back of my hands to sooth me. "I had no idea where I was being taken but there were no windows so I couldn't see, but I wasn't the only one in that van. There were 3 other girls my age in there too. We were in the van for a while before it stopped and the engine was cut. We were pulled out and thrown in a basement. We were starved, and beaten, and raped for three days." I said and he pulled me into his side. "After two days of absolutely nothing we thought they forgot about us. We heard footsteps and we all got scared. We didn't want it to happen again. But when the door burst opened 7 cops came running down the stairs and got us out of there. I was in the hospital for 4 days before I was allowed to leave." I pulled back and he wiped the tears off my cheeks. "We were all called as witnesses to testify against the men. Apparently they were human traffickers, and they were going to use us a sex slaves. Our names were kept out of the news, and the trial was only those who needed to be there were there, so nobody knew what happened. Everyone at school thought I went on vacation, and when I got back I was treated like the nobody I was before I was taken. My parents didn't even care. They didn't even know I was gone until the police called and told them that I was found."

"Madison, I am so sorry that happened to you, but I promise I will help you in any way that I can. If you want to take this as slow as possible, I'm okay with that, you need a shoulder to cry on, don't be afraid to ask, and if you need a day to be completely and totally distracted I will do my best to give that to you."

"You don't find me disguising? And used? And disposable?" I asked and his eyes widened.

"Absolutely not. I think you're amazing, and beautiful, and funny, and smart. You've been through some shit. We all have, but all we can do is try our best to conquer it, and I'll be there every step of the way unless you tell me to back off." HE said and I laughed.

"I don't want you to back off." I said and he smiled. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine, and the sparks that went through my whole body were insane. We sat there kissing until we heard a throat clear from behind us. Clary and Jace were both standing there smiling and I couldn't help but feel super embarrassed. My therapist just caught me making out with a guy, talk about awkward.

"I brought you some pajamas, you can stay in our guest room tonight, and we can get the police over here first thing in the morning if you'd like." Clary said and I smiled.

"I would like that. Thank you Clary, for everything"

"Anything for you." She said and I smiled. She handed me the PJ's and started walking away. "Ryan, you can stay the night as well. I figured you wouldn't want to leave her after what happened."

"Thank you Clary, it means a lot." He said and I have never felt more happiness than I did in this moment.

"Get some rest you two, and we'll see you in the morning." Jace said and they both walked up the stairs. When they were gone I looked back at Ryan and smiled.

"So, how would you like to be my girlfriend Madison?" He asked and I laughed.

"I would love to be your girlfriend." I said and he pressed his lips to mine again. He stood up and reached his hand out and I took it. I lead him to the guest bedroom and got changed and we both got in bed. He wrapped his arms around me and I leaned into his side feeling safe, and loved for the first time in my life.


	20. Chapter 20

**Authors Note:**

 **So, I think there will be either one or two more chapter left in this story! I feel like it's coming to its end and I couldn't be happier to share this story with you all! Please let me know if you guys like it! I promise to try my best to update when I can! School sucks, and I'm being buried alive in work! :)**

 **Chapter Twenty**

 **Madison POV:**

I woke up kinda confused and when I felt the warmth on my back and the arms wrapped around my waist the events of last night came flooding back to my mind. Everything was a little hazy, but I remember how sweet and understanding Ryan was and I couldn't be happier that our paths crossed. I turned around and Ryan slowly woke up, and I have to say, he looked good in the morning. He opened his eyes, smiled at me and than pressed his lips to mine.

"Good morning." He said in a sleepy voice, and I couldn't help but smile and kiss him again.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" I asked and he laughed.

"I feel like I should be asking you that." He said and I smiled. "I slept really well. I had a beautiful girl to hold the whole night, so it was a very good night." He said and I blushed but thankfully he couldn't see that. "How about you?" He asked and I leaned my head back on his chest.

"For the first time in years I fell asleep feeling safe. It was great." I said and he started rubbing my back.

"I'm glad I can provide that kind of comfort, it makes me feel useful." He said and I leaned up on my elbows.

"You are very useful. I'm here right now because of you, and I can't thank you enough for that." I said as I pressed my lips to his again. We got out of bed and followed the aroma of the coffee to the kitchen. When we walked in Jace, Clary and Danni were all sitting at the table talking. They looked over at us and smiled.

"How are you feeling Madison?" Clary asked as Ryan got me a cup of coffee.

"I'm doing better." I said and they smiled.

"Do you still want to call the cops?" Jace asked and I thought about it before I nodded.

"I can't live like that anymore. There are still six months of school left, and who knows how much worse it's going to get." I said and they nodded. Clary got up and left the room to make the call. Thirty minutes later there was a knock on the door. Jace went to answer it and not a moment later two cops walked in, one male, one female. We all sat in the living room in a tense silence before the cop started talking.

"My name is Officer Harbor, but you can call me Alaric, and this is my partner Susan." He said and I smiled. "We would like to discuss what happened last night and any other occurrence." He said and he looked at Clary and Jace. "What is your relationship with Madison?"

"I'm her therapist. She's been coming to me for a little over a year now." Clary said and he nodded.

"Well, since you are not Madison's parents or guardian, I'm afraid you have to step out of the room for our conversation." Jace and Clary nodded. They grabbed Danni and made their way upstairs. "And who are you?" He said to Ryan.

"He's my boyfriend. He's the one who saved me last night." I said and the cop nodded.

"Well, we will talk to you separately…" He started but I cut him off.

"I don't want to talk unless he's here. I've never discussed everything that's happened to me, and its going to be hard. I need him here." I said and Ryan grabbed my hand.

"Very well. Let's start at the beginning." He said and I nodded.

"It all started when I was 8….."

 **Clary POV:**

When we got up stairs we went to our room and put Danni down and she started playing with her toys. I was laying on the bed rubbing my belly thinking about how we haven't picked a name out for her yet. She was going to be here in four months, and I would really like to stop calling my baby 'her'.

"Jace, we need to figure out a name." I said and he joined me on the bed. "I feel bad that she doesn't have one yet."

"Well, do you have any in mind?"

"I was thinking about something that goes with Danni. I mean, I know her name is Danielle but I doubt we'll ever call her that and I want their names to go together."

"Alright, well let's narrow the list down to at like 4 names and take it from there." He said and I nodded. "What's the first name that pops into your mind that could be the right fit for our daughter?"

"I don't know if it's too weird but I always liked the name Gemma. It's different, and unique."

"Gemma is different. I like it."

"What about you? What names do you like?" I asked and he started to rub my belly.

"Adeline." He says and I'm impressed. I didn't know how much he had put into the naming process.

"That's really pretty. I like that one a lot." I said and he leaned down and kissed my temple. "So, we have these two names, how do we decide?"

"How about we ask her, and which every name she moves the most for is what we name her?" He says and I nod. We both place a hand on my belly. "Alright baby girl, we're going to test some names out for you, let us know how you feel about them?" Jace said and I couldn't help but laugh. "I think you would be the perfect Adeline." He says and I feel her kick. Jace and I both look at each other and laugh. "Or maybe Gemma?" He says and there is absolutely no movement, which causes Jace and I to laugh again. "Alright, we can't wait to welcome you to the world Adeline." He said and she kicked again.

"What about her middle name?" I ask and I see Jace looks at me thinking.

"Well, she picked my name, so you think of the middle name." He said and I started to rub my belly thinking of a name that would go with Adeline. After a few minutes there was one name that stood out more than the rest.

"Jane." I said. "Adeline Jane Herondale." I said and she kicked again. And I laughed. "She likes it."

"So do I." Jace said and we smiled. Danni had made her way onto the bed at this point and we were all sitting laughing and being entertained by Danni when there was a knock on the door. "Come in." Jace said and Ryan poked his head into our room.

"They are done talking to us, but they want to talk to you Clary." He said and I nodded.

"I'll be right down." Ryan closed the door and I handed Danni over to Jace. I walk downstairs and see the officers sitting on the couch but Madison and Ryan were both gone. I took a seat across from them and waited to be questioned.

"So Mrs. Herondale, how long have you known Madison?"

"A little over a year now. She comes every week for sessions."

"How long have you known about her fathers abuse?"

"She never really outright said he abused her. I suspected considering whenever the topic of family was brought up she avoided it and immediately tensed."

"Why didn't you call the police?"

"There wasn't enough evidence. I can't just call the police off of my own suspicion. I need proof; a mark, or a visual confirmation that it was happening. But she came alone. We moved our sessions to my house for her safety and her comfort and I've never met her parents."

"So, in your professional opinion, how damaging do you think it would be for Madison to stay in that environment?" He said and I thought about it.

"Honestly, I've seen Madison make amazing improvements since our sessions started. She smiles more, she laughs more, she's making friends, and she has a boyfriend. A year ago I never thought we'd get that far, but she's really opening up. I think Madison is getting through just fine, but I can't say the say about her father. If Ryan hadn't gone back last night she could be lying in a hospital bed or she could be dead. It was a miracle that she left her jacket in that boys car. Madison is a strong girl, and she is a fighter, but her father is a loose cannon, I don't think it's a safe environment for her. Especially after Ryan broke their window, knocked her father unconscious and took her away. I think if she goes back she'll be serious danger." I said and the officer wrote it down.

"Thank you Mrs. Herondale. Since Madison is 18, we can't put her in a foster home or anything like that. Do you know if she has any family in the area?"

"She doesn't. Her parents are both only children, and her grandparents died a while ago. Her family is estranged from whomever else it may consist of. She's completely alone."

"I know it isn't ethical, considering your relationship with her, but until we figure it all out, would you mind looking after her?"

"Not at all. She's more than just a client of mine. I wouldn't want her to go anywhere else." I said and they nodded and got up.

"You'll hear back from us in a couple days when we gather more information. Thank you for your time Mrs. Herondale." He said and I led them to the door. Once I got back to the living room everyone was there waiting to see what happened.

"Since you're 18, the state can't do anything to you. They can't provide you shelter, or anything like that. The officers need to gather more information before they can continue on with the investigation."

"So, what does that mean for me?" Madison asks.

"They asked me if I could house you until everything gets sorted out." I said and I smile. "And I would love to have you stay with us. If that's what you want." She ran over and gave me a hug.

"I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me Clary. I know I was a pain in the ass when we first started, but you've really saved me."

"You are more than one of my clients Madison. And I'm glad you are so forgetful and left your jacket in Ryan's car, because I would be extremely upset if your father hurt you beyond repair." I said and she smiled at me.

"Alright, today is going to be a recuperation day. You ladies let us men do all the work today. You both deserve relaxation." Jace said and I couldn't help but smiled and give him a kiss. "Ryan and I will make lunch, and you two do whatever you want." I laughed and grabbed Danni and we all made our way over to the couch. We sat there cuddled under blankets while watching a movie Everything might have been a mess, but we're all in this moment because of that mess and I couldn't be happier with the growing relationship I have with Madison. All I've ever wanted to do was help people, and I feel like I've done that, and so much more.


	21. Chapter 21

**Authors Note:**

 **So, I don't know if I want to write an epilogue for this story yet! If you want to see some of Madison in the epilogue than I will definitely write one but I think I have ended it in a good spot, but please let me know what you all think! :) I hope you have loved this story has much as I have! Let me know what to do! :)**

 **Chapter Twenty One**

 **Time Jump – Three Years Later**

 **Clary POV:**

Danni was now 5, Adeline was now 3, and our third child, Valerie would be a one in 2 months. Everything was absolutely perfect. Jace and I were in a really good place, and we were still considering having more kids. I was still continuing my appointments but none of them had quite the impact as Madison did. She was a special client, and two years ago she stopped coming because she no longer needed me. She had Ryan and she was starting college, she was in a really good place, and I told her my door was always opened for her. I came home from my last appointment and when I walked into the house to see Jace sitting around the tiny table playing princess tea party with the girls. It completely melted my heart to see him this way with his girls. They had him wrapped around his finger, and he was the sweetest man ever. I put my stuff down and joined them at the table, and everyone had a smile on their face.

"How was your day?" I ask.

"Great!" Danni said as she jumped out of her chair. "Daddy joined our tea party, and he let us have cookies!"

"Is that so?" I looked at Jace and smiled. "Daddy let you have cookies before dinner?" I looked at the girls and they all were nodding and smiling. "Well, why don't you all go clean up so we can have dinner?" I said and they all stood and ran towards the bathroom. "You've been a bad daddy." I said and Jace just smirked and leaned down and kissed me.

"You'll just have to punish me later." He whispered in my ear before getting up and walking out of the girls room. I followed him out and walked into the kitchen. "You got some mail today." Jace said and I was surprised.

"Really? From who?"

"Why don't you just open it and find out." He said as he handed me the envelope. I looked at it and than opened it and screamed. "What?"

"Ryan and Madison are getting married, and they invited us!" I said and I couldn't get the smile off my face.

"Really?"

"Yes, it's in two months. Oh my god, I can't believe they are getting married. I feel like I met her last year, a 17 year old who was so afraid of the world, and now she's graduating from college, and getting married." I said and a tear left my eyes. Jace walked over and pulled me into a hug.

"You know the best part about all of this Clary?" He said and I shook my head. "You made her future possible. You were there to listen to her, and there when she needed s a safe haven, and you were there when she didn't have anyone else in the world. You have her the confidence to go up and start that conversation with Ryan. Her future is the way it is because of you Clary." He said and that just made me cry even more. "You are doing amazing things in this world Clare, don't ever doubt that. And when you feel like you aren't getting through to anyone, look back at Madison and know that you gave that girl a purpose in life, you gave her hope." I looked up at him and I couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Don't discredit your help in this."

"How so?"

"I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. If I didn't have you when I was younger I probably would have tried again, and I would have made sure I was successful, Madison has a future because you gave me one." I said and I saw the tears pooling in his eyes. "I love you Jace. And I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am for you each and every day."

"I love you too Clare, and I don't know what I'd do without you. You gave me three of the best gifts life can give, and I'm so thankful that you survived. You're my everything, and I thank god for you every day." He said as he pressed his lips to mine. I couldn't help but smile into the kiss but it wasn't long lived when the girls came running into the kitchen, well Valerie tried to run, she was still getting the hang of is. Jace bent down and scooped Valerie up and Danni, and Adeline were giggling at something. I couldn't even begin to describe how thankful I was for my life. I know there was a point where I wanted to throw it all away, but having this life, and this family with Jace was all I ever wanted, and I couldn't be more thankful that I lived. Things might be anything but perfect, but it was everything I could have ever wanted, and so much more.


End file.
